KTKomedy2813's The Iron Giant
by KTKomedy2813
Summary: Fanmake of 'The Iron Giant.' A kid named Darwin Watterson makes friends with an innocent alien robot that paranoid government agent Phlemming wants to destroy. Kinda brief, but it gets the idea across... I think.
1. Prologue

KT: (he has his head on his palm for a few seconds, then he begins to talk) Well, it seems like I've roped myself into doing another fanfic. Y'know, I feel like every time I get acquainted with another classic I've seen when I was a kid, I decide to do a fanfic of it. This time, it's "The Iron Giant". And trust me, writing this is gonna be a lot harder than it seems, since I don't have the movie on video (well, I used to, but I don't have a VCR anymore anyway) or DVD and there are only a few YouTube clips of the film, so this is gonna be a big pain! BUT… I guess I should just stick with one for now and use whatever clips and memory I have… and other material I find on the internet. With that said, "The Iron Giant".

* * *

CHAPTER 1  
PROLOGUE

**THE  
KTKomedy2813  
PICTURES ENTERTAINMENT PRODUCTIONS FILMS MOVIES  
INC LTD LLC GMBH COMPANY  
**Presents

The  
**IRON  
**GIANT

Our story begins on the planet Earth, in the year 1992, where a satellite was circling around the globe. Yeah, that's kinda boring to me, too. Suddenly, however, a giant fireball went fwooshing towards the Earth into the eye of a hurricane, occurring off the coast of Maine…

…where it was causing trouble for a sailor on a boat, one Mr. Stick. He was driving his boat through the storm and exclaimed to the radio operator, "Mayday, mayday! This is the Trolley Annabelle! I'm lost and I'm taking on water! My last good reading is 44 degrees North, 68 degrees—" He stopped when the fireball splashed down into the ocean. Mr. Stick dropped the radio for a few seconds.

"Morning Station to Annabelle," the operator said, snapping Mr. Stick out of his state and getting him to pick up the radio, "What is your current position?"

"I don't know exactly, Borland! Off the coast somewhere near Rockwell! Wait! **THE LIGHTHOUSE! I SEE IT!**" He exclaimed, thinking he'd found the lighthouse, only for the light to get bigger and bigger, revealing it to be underneath a giant glass dome. Just as a giant wave was about to splash the boat away, it quickly receded, and the boat crashed into a giant wall of metal, sending Mr. Stick out of the captain's dock and onto the deck of the boat. He saw the wall move to Mr. Stick's point of view, where it revealed itself to be a silhouette of a giant alien robot with a giant bright dome at the top. Just then, another wave splashed Mr. Stick away and sunk his boat into the deep blue. Then, one of the waves fwooshed across the ocean and splashed the stick figure onto shore, where he saw the actual lighthouse across on his left.

* * *

KT: Yeah, as you can tell, this was only the equivalent of one page of Microsoft Word written for this chapter. Thankfully, there's more than just this scene to write. Just hope I actually get to it as opposed to slack off and do more fanfics instead of the one I'm supposed to go to.


	2. Diner Incident

KT: Well, thank you, Nausicaa of the Spirits and Detective88, for being the first reviewers of this fanfic. When we last left off, there was this hurricane in which Mr. Stick saw the titular character of said fanfic. THIS is where we meet most of the main characters. With a bit of a twist.

* * *

CHAPTER 2  
DINER INCIDENT

Meanwhile in the town of Toonfield, a 9 old humanoid orange fish with legs and green shoes was walking down the street to his babysitter's diner to wait for his family to pick him up since they were late for a reason that'll be brought up later. His name was Darwin Watterson.

Soon enough, he arrived at the diner where said babysitter worked and entered the diner, looking around, before he heard someone call, "Over here, Darwin!"

Darwin smiled and waved, before going over to the counter where he heard the voice. The owner/babysitter of the voice was a woman with brown (and partly blonde) hair and blue eyes who was wearing a waitress uniform. Her name was Elaine.

"Hey, Elaine," Darwin said as he sat down.

Elaine, looking to see if anyone came with Darwin, sighed and asked, "OK. What happened this time?"

"Well, last I heard from Mom, she said they were stuck in a hotel for five hours during the hurricane of the coast of Rockwell," Darwin explained, "And she said they'd be back in time to pick me up from school if they weren't stuck in a mudhole first then in traffic."

Which they were, as in Rockwell (this was 3 hours and 52 minutes ago), Darwin's adoptive family's car was pulled out of a mudhole, and behind the car was the mother, Nicole Watterson, who was a humanoid blue cat with six whiskers, a pink nose, a white shirt (with a Rainbow button) and a grey skirt. She was also wearing a raincoat, as it was raining due to the hurricane.

Nicole exclaimed, "Okay, give it some gas! But let the crutch out SLOWLY!" The car then zoomed out of the mudhole, hurling mud all over Nicole, and screeched out onto the road. Nicole walked over to the car and opened the driver's door, where in the driver's seat was a fat obese pink rabbit with brown pants and a white shirt with a grey tie. His name? Richard Watterson.

In the back seat were their kids, who also happened to be Darwin's siblings.

One of them was a 10-year-old blue humanoid cat with a pink nose, six whiskers, a white sweater and red cuffs and rims and grey pants. He's Gumball Watterson, Nicole and Richard's son and Darwin's original owner but now older brother.

The other was a 4-year-old pink humanoid bunny rabbit with an orange dress and light pink shoes. She's Anais Watterson, Gumball and Darwin's sister.

"I said, SLOWLY," Nicole told Richard.

Minutes later (now it was 3 hours and 28 minutes ago), the Wattersons were stuck in traffic. Due to the boredom surrounding them, Gumball decided to entertain himself… by clicking the pen repeatedly, much to Anais' annoyance.

2 hours later, they were still in the same place in traffic, and Anais was so annoyed by the clicking that it felt like it'd take 20 years before he'd stop. She exclaimed, "**MOM!** Gumball won't stop pen-clicking!"

"Hey, this'll be popular by 1994!" Gumball exclaimed.

Nicole screamed frighteningly, "**IF YOU KIDS DON'T KNOCK IT OFF, I'M GONNA DRIVE THIS CAR INTO THAT MUDHOLE AGAIN, THEN NOBODY'S GOING TO MCDONALD'S!**"

Gumball and Anais stopped bickering and said, scared, "Yes, Mother."

"Don't worry, we're going," Richard told the kids. Nicole gave Richard a look of annoyance. He continued, "Bu-But you can't have the supersize."

"Aaaaaw!" Gumball groaned.

"Alright, you can supersize, but no apple pie."

Anais complained, "Aw, come on!"

"Okay, you can get an apple pie, but you can't blow on it."

Nicole told Richard, "Richard, don't contradict me in front of the kids!"

Richard told his wife, "Relax. Siblings fighting is just as natural as a white man's dialogue in a Spike Lee movie."

Suddenly, Mr. Stick slammed himself into the car windshield, frightening the family and Richard accidentally putting all the force of his foot onto the gas pedal, making the car zoom across the traffic, flinging cars into the sky unrealistically.

The driver of the car behind the Wattersons, Geraldine Waxelplax, saw this and said, "I didn't know we could do that." She then started to move, only for one of the cars to randomly crash onto her car, annoying all the drivers behind her when they had to stop.

As the Watterson car zoomed out of traffic, it started to slow down and lose gas. Thankfully, when it finally lost the gas, it stopped conveniently next to a gas station.

"Human cat lady! Human cat lady!" Mr. Stick exclaimed! "It was a giant monster!"

After 2 minutes of Mr. Stick's bickering, Nicole screamed, "SHUT UP!" shutting Mr. Stick up, and continued, "Get in the car… now."

17 minutes later, Mr. Stick was in the backseat with Gumball and Anais. The stick figure looked at the kids and told them, "It looked at me."

Returning to the present, Elaine looked on, confused by the cutaway's pace, and was about to ask about the pace, when they heard the town's three main police officers, Chief Clancy Wiggum, Lou and Eddie, walk into the diner, talking about a squirrel Wiggum got for his son Ralph.

"Chief, squirrels don't make good pets," Lou told the chief.

"This squirrel's not a pet, Lou," Chief Wiggum corrected his second-in-command, while failing to notice a tiny little arm come out of the shoebox and grab at a man's coat. "It's a friend."

Darwin noticed that the squirrel was eating his way out, then after he ate the way out, he jumped out of the shoebox, which was now empty, as Lou says, "Chief, we've got to find more officers for the force to make ends meet, and no one wants shredded upholstery... or bitten noses."

"You won't know he's there," Wiggum said, "Ralph promised if he ever had a pet, he'd put it in a cage."

"Of course you will," Elaine said as the officers got to the bar, "until he feels sorry for it and sets it free in the house. Do you remember the dragon?"

In a cutaway gag, the dragon was set loose and causing chaos around Toonfield. Two of the citizens, Beavis and Butthead, looked on in amusement, commenting about the fire and destruction and laughing stupidly.

Back to the present, Elaine shuddered, before she said, "I remember the dragon."

"Oh, please," Wiggum comforted Elaine, "I've upgraded the security so nothing like that would ever happen again. And if even that doesn't work, then Darwin here can reason with it," Wiggum continued, pointing to an empty seat that had Darwin a few seconds ago, "I mean, HE was a pet once." Suddenly, Wiggum realized Darwin wasn't in the seat and asked, "Darwin?"

Darwin was looking everywhere for the chief's squirrel, including under the tables, before he saw something move. It was the squirrel that escaped the shoebox. The squirrel scampered under a table and Darwin turned to the person at the table, who was busy reading a newspaper.

"Excuse me," he said. "Excuse me. Sir." There was no answer and he was getting annoyed, so he lowered the newspaper and said, "Excuse me!"

To his surprise, the person reading the newspaper was asleep. He had black hair and brown eyes and was wearing a white T-shirt, blue pants and a black leather jacket and pair of shoes.

He woke up and said, "What?"

"Whatever you do, don't move," Darwin said, "There's a squirrel under your table." He was about to look under the table, but Darwin said, "Don't look. If you make a scene, something stupid and crazy might happen."

"Squirrel?" the man asked.

Darwin told him, "Don't worry, they're friendly. Unless, of course, it's the squirrels from Washington DC."

Just then, the Wattersons' car stopped in front of the diner to pick up Darwin, and Mr. Stick ran out of the car and into the diner and stopped at a table to tell people what he saw.

"Everything I'm about to tell you is the truth!" Mr. Stick exclaimed, "Just came right out of nowhere. I saw it! And it was heading toward town! I called the government in Washington about it. I think it was some sort of giant alien war machine. Yeah, that's what it was, a GIANT alien war machine!" Darwin looked interested as he listened, "Or maybe some robotic experiment that escaped from Japan!"

"A robotic experiment?" A robot, Bender, said, "Bub, I don't know whether I should take offense to that… OR who you are, for that matter… but what I DO know is that you're on either Angel Dust, LSD or some other unknown drug."

The group at the table laughed at Mr. Stick, who looked disappointed.

At the other table, the man didn't like what he had heard, so he said, "Hey." The group at the table turned to him and he said, "I saw it too."

Everyone just stared at him, before Bender said, "I find that offensive!"

As the guy turned back, Darwin said, "I believe you." As Darwin was talking, neither of them noticed the squirrel approaching the guy's leg. "What if it is an experiment that escaped from a lab? I bet we could find it."

"Look, kid," the guy said. "I didn't really see anything. I was only sticking up for that kook over there. Besides, if we don't stick up for the kooks, who will?"

At that moment, Elaine walked up and said, "Is this kid bothering you, sir?"

Suddenly, the guy's eyes widened at the sight of Elaine, before he said, "Yes." But then he said, "I mean, no!" He forced a smile on his face, as he said, "Call me Jarrod."

"Jarrod," Elaine said.

The two smiled and Elaine turned and left, then Wiggum walked up to the two and asked, "Uh, have you seen this squirrel I got for my Ralphie?"

Jarrod turned to Wiggum and told him, "I think that can be answered with a yes."

"Really? Where?"

Just then, the squirrel flew out of Jarrod's pants and at Wiggum and bit his tongue like a bear trap grabs a bear. Wiggum screamed like a girl and ran around the diner, knocking tables over and throwing food and drinks at people randomly.

Nicole entered the diner after getting tired of waiting and upon entering watched all this unfold, before asking, "Should I really ask how?"

Elaine saw this, too, and turned to glare at Darwin and Jarrod.

"Check, please," Jarrod said, while Darwin just smiled nervously.

* * *

KT: Well, that was the second chapter of "The Iron Giant". I hope you enjoyed it, and stay tuned for Chapter 3.

PS: The scene where the Wattersons are stuck in a mudhole and hours later picked up Mr. Stick is based on one of the deleted scenes from the original movie.

PPS: Jarrod and Elaine are both characters from the movie Skyline.


	3. Late Night Encounter

KT: To make this short and sweet, this is the part when Darwin meets the iron giant. Read it.

* * *

CHAPTER 3  
LATE NIGHT ENCOUNTER

That evening, Darwin, Gumball, Anais and Richard had returned home after the fiasco at the diner, and right now, Darwin had finished picking up the pinecones.

Once Darwin was inside, the phone rang and Gumball answered, saying, "You have reached the Watterson residence. This is Gumball Watterson speaking. Who's calling?"

On the other line, Nicole was on the nightshift at the company she worked for, the Rainbow Factory, said, "Gumball, I'm sorry, but—" She quickly moved out of the way, avoiding the opening door, before she said, "I need to work late tonight. There's some cheese slices in the fridge, so you can have some grilled cheese."

"Way ahead of you, Mom," Gumball said, getting the bread, cheese, and the butter out.

"I'll make it up to you, okay?" Nicole said.

"Okay."

"I love you, honey."

"Love you too."

He was about to hang up, but Nicole said, "And Gumball? Make sure you, Darwin and Anais are all in bed by 9:00. Alright?"

"Right," Gumball said.

Over two hours after 9:00, however, the den was lit by the flickering light of the TV, and Gumball and Darwin, two of the people in the house that haven't fallen asleep, as Anais went to sleep exactly at 9:00 and Richard went to his bed immediately after coming home, have moved the furniture and piled up cushions, making a TV-watching fortress. The older one wearing pajamas, both surrounded by a week's worth of snacks, Gumball and Darwin settled in to watch the 1972 sci-fi cheesefest "Doomsday Machine".

On the part where the press conference was being held, the two heard a noise outside and jumped. "What was that?" Gumball asked.

Darwin answered, "Must've been the TV."

Gumball looked at Darwin in doubt.

"What?"

"Darwin, what kind of idiotic, $700 Z-movie from the early 70s would have a sound that realistic?"

Darwin paused, then realized that it DID sound too realistic for a Z-movie. He gasped, "You're right. What should we do?"

Gumball answered, "There's only one way to solve this mystery."

"Arm ourselves with paintball guns equipped with flashlights and find the source of the noise?"

"No. Even better: Arm ourselves with paintball guns equipped with flashlights and find the source of the noise… one at a time."

Darwin paused. "What?"

"We hunt the noise's origin down with each turn. You'll get it for 30 minutes, then I'LL get it for 30 minutes," explained Gumball.

"Oh." Darwin then thought about it long and hard. "Who's gonna go first?"

Moments later, Darwin was outside with his light-equipped paintball gun labeled D-Watt. He then added, "I had to ask." He then heard the noise again. Darwin soon held his gun up and walked towards the source of the noise… only to fall in a hole. Not a very deep one, though. Darwin got up, picked up his gun and shone its light onto the hole's surface, where it's revealed that the hole was in fact a large footprint. Darwin stared in shock and gulped. Then he quickly got a hold of himself, got out of the hole and found even more footprints, leading into the forest.

Inside, Gumball continued watching "Doomsday Machine", up to the point when two of the characters were in the airlock.

MALE SCIENTIST: **LOOK OUT!**

In the movie, the door flung open, sucking all the air out of the airlock, and the two scientists screamed, but as the male scientist screamed, the TV picture static'd out.

Outside, Darwin turned and saw the silhouette of a tentacle-like limb emerging from the forest trees holding its grip on the TV satellite, and faster than you can say "Ted Hughes", the limb pulled back into the trees, taking the satellite dish and part of its legs with it.

"Whoa," Darwin exclaimed.

Inside, however, Gumball saw that the TV static was all that was left on the television. He then placed his hands against his face and screamed in terror like the scientists in the movie.

Outside, Darwin looked in awe and said, "It just took the whole dish!" Soon, though, he snapped out of his stupor and proceeded to follow the trail of giant footsteps into the forest, which he found were bigger than him and maybe even the family car.

Minutes later, Darwin hurried on to find the giant footsteps' source, zipping from bush to bush stealthily. Soon, he noticed tree damage as he walked on, with a giant hole next to the destruction, until he walked out of the forest and into the side of a road, which lead to the power station. Darwin suddenly noticed that the footsteps stopped at the road's edge. He wondered why and said to himself, "Odd. How does a trail of footsteps from something so big stop at the edge of the road?" He then ducked down as the power station's gates opened, and the employees drove their cars out of the power station. One of the employees in his car closed the gates with a remote control, and the gates close after 15 seconds.

As Darwin watched the cars drive out of sight, he heard that noise again. But this time, it was louder than before. He turned to the other side of the road and saw a gigantic eruption of dirt and trees explode out of the ground. That may seem strange enough, but it got stranger. As the dust cleared, there was a green light emerging from the hole that eruption came from. And that light become more visible as the dust cleared more and more. While watching in wonder, Darwin suddenly felt an earthquake and fell to the ground. As he got up, he noticed a giant claw emerge from the hole. The claw was a sphere with four fingers that had sharp digits on their edges. It grabbed one of the trees so it can rise up to reveal a giant dome, where the giant green dome was coming from. That dome was sitting upon a giant torso of metal. Once this giant torso got both of its feet onto the surface, the claw that had the tree in its grip then threw the tree far away to its left, while its other claw, a giant claw that looked like a doughnut when it was closed but was tough enough to crush a mountain, rose out of the forest with dirt flying and falling off of it. And both clawswere attached to arms attached to "shoulders" equipped with spikes on all but the armholes.

Darwin gasped in awe-inspiring amazement and whispered, "An actual alien war machine."

Soon after, the green light from the machine's dome head faded away. Moments later, a blinding white light emerged from the dome, forcing Darwin to shield his eyes from the light. The machine then turned to the power station and started walking slowly towards it. When it reached the power station, it suddenly stopped. However, the machine's chest started to open up, and out of the chest emerged the tentacle limb that had grabbed the dish from the house. The limb's tip opened up and revealed four claw fingers emerging from the limb's inside, which had trillions of metallic teeth on all sides. The limb inspected the metal power-line towers, and the machine made a strange metallic grunt that sounded like a starving man admiring a pot roast. After inspecting the towers, the limb rose and backed up towards its origin of body, and then, without warning, chomped onto one of the towers, making Darwin jump in surprise, having not expected that coming. The limb then proceeded to pull the tower out of the ground and swallow the whole thing, with its teeth tearing the tower apart while sparks and smoke flew out of the limb's mouth.

"OOOH, and it eats metal," Darwin said.

Meanwhile, back at the house, Nicole walked in through the front door, looking tired until she noticed the mess in the den, with the only light in the place coming from the static on the TV. In the den, Nicole saw Gumball fast asleep and on the edge of the TV-watching shelter.

"**GUMBALL WATTERSON!**" Nicole exclaimed, waking Gumball up from his slumber, and continued, "What happened in here? Did you play Dodge or Dare again?"

Gumball, regaining his focus, noticed his mother looking at him angrily and answered, "No, not this time! This time we were watching a late-night marathon of cheesy late 60s-early 70s science fiction movies!"

"A likely story!" Nicole said in disbelief, then looked around for Darwin. When Nicole couldn't find him, she asked Gumball, "And where is your brother?"

Gumball lifted his finger up, seeming like he was gonna have a good explaination as to where Darwin might be, but then looked around and asked his mother, "You mean you didn't pick him up while he was hunting whatever was making that strange sound?"

Nicole gasped in fear from learning that Darwin had gone outside into the forest.

Meanwhile, back at the power station, Darwin, now looking from behind the fence, saw the machine's limb finish up the tower while now-loose powerlines flailed around, sparks flying out of their openings. The fascinated goldfish still watched on as the limb searched for another part of the station to devour. It then noticed something black in the ground. It seemed like a large metallic tube of power. The limb's mouth then grabbed the tube and attempted to pull it out of the ground, but to no avail. It then looked around for a way to get it out from the surface. When it couldn't find a way to get it out above ground, it decided to do it another way. The limb's mouth then closed up, and the limb itself fwooshed into the ground, circling itself around the tube as it tunneled into and out of the ground until it finally got enough strength to pull the tube out of the ground, revealing it to be the power station's large plug. The limb slithered up the plug to where its digits were. The mouth opened up again, and then, in an unprecedented move, it chomped onto the plug, only to start electrocuting the machine.

Darwin watched in horror as electricity raced through the limb and fwooshed across the machine, which jerked and flew backwards. Flailing powerlines started wrapping around the machine as it stumbled into a tangle of more powerlines. The machine panicked, flailing and screeching, trying to free itself only to get more entangled.

Soon, sparks snapped and flew all around while the machine screeched in agony, and one tower started to fall… right at Darwin. Darwin leapt away as the tower crashed right where he was hiding. He then proceeded to walk into the power station watching the machine flailing and roaring in pain, as thousands of bolts of electricity arced up and down its body. The machine roared, which was an awful, metal-scraping sound, the pain it was ensuing unbearable. It fell to its knees, its dome sparking and shorting out. Darwin looked around, desperate to save the machine. He then noticed a panel that had a sign. That sign said, "EMERGENCY CUT-OFF SWITCH / Use Only in Case Giant Alien Machine Munches on Giant Plug." Darwin ran (dropping his paintball gun) towards the switch, sparks raining all around him. He tried to open the big panel, which was unfortunately locked. Now what? Just then he noticed a lever, with the sign on it that said, "Op! No, Wait. THIS is the Emergency Cut-Off Switch. PS: We Know This is Really a Lever, But Who Cares?" Darwin ran to the lever, grabbed it and threw all his weight against it, and the lever went down with a clunk. It also caused the plug to explode, forcing the limb to fly off and land back onto the ground. The machine fell to the ground and fainted, its dome light going out as the sparks slowly died out, smoke emerging from the chaos as it calmed down.

Having blocked himself from the smoke, Darwin looked ahead and found the machine unconscious. He walked towards the dome of the machine and asked, "Where did you come from?" He looked around the dome for 53 seconds, but then the dome flashed on again, making Darwin jump backwards, but this time, the light from the dome was blue. The machine, dazed and dizzy, looked around. He then got up, swaying, and snapped free of the wires holding him, while his tentacle limb went back into the chest, when then proceeded to close up. With the machine now free, he focused his sight upon Darwin, and the two looked at each other.

The machine then rose his sharp claws up and slowly reached them towards Darwin, the claws opening to grab the tiny goldfish boy.

Darwin screamed in terror and ran back into the forest, forgetting to pick up his paintball gun on his way out of the power station. The machine stopped, puzzled.

In the forest, Darwin ran for his life, glancing back to make sure the machine wasn't chasing after him.

Then he saw the road and a car driving down it.

"Help! Help! Stop! Help!" Darwin shrieked.

Once he got onto the road and the car stopped, he looked back and saw that the machine hadn't followed him.

The person to come out of the car was Nicole.

"Darwin!" she cried in relief, as she ran to her adoptive son.

"Mom!" Darwin said.

"What do you think you're doing?" Nicole cried, "Don't you know better than to wander off at night alone? What if something happened? You could've been killed or worse!"

_You have no idea_, Darwin thought to himself, before he said, "I'm sorry, Mom."

"Don't ever do that to me again, Darwin," Nicole said, before hugging him, "I was so scared. I thought I'd lost you."

"Mom, you won't believe this," Darwin said, "but something scratched the side of our home."

At this, Nicole groaned and got up, as she said, "Darwin."

"I'm serious, Mom!" Darwin cried, "It's a giant alien war machine, just like that crazy stick figure said!"

"Darwin, please," Nicole said, as they both walked toward the car.

"It's probably being piloted by some sort of creature," Darwin said, "I don't know what type it is, but the machine it was in was about 100 feet tall, maybe more!"

"Stop it!" Nicole said, "Just-Just stop. I'm-I'm not in the mood right now. Come on, let's go home."

Darwin sighed and got into the car, but not before glancing back one more time for the machine. As the two drove off, neither of them noticed the machine rising from behind the trees, with the blue light continuing to shine from his dome head.

* * *

KT: Well, that was Chapter 3, where Darwin met the machine, and judging from the description I gave him, this isn't a robot you've seen before. The next chapter will introduce the villain of our story, Phlemming. But for now, stay tuned for Chapter 4.


	4. Phlemming

KT: Look, everybody! Two chapters in one of "The Iron Giant!" This one is where we meet the villain, and I think it's obvious who it's gonna be.

…

(Nappa enters)

NAPPA: Who?

* * *

CHAPTER 4  
PHLEMMING

The next day, at school, Darwin was in the classroom, looking through some library books and glancing at the sketch he had made of the giant from last night, trying to find out what it was and paying no attention to the movie.

After looking through the second to last book, Darwin sighed and muttered to himself, "What are you?"

He then heard Bart Simpson whisper to Timmy Turner, "Hey, did you hear about the crazy stick figure? He says some sort of giant lizard attacked his farm animals."

"Well, I heard it was some kind of mutant spider that escaped from a lab," Timmy said.

"No, no, no," Tobias said, joining in the conversation. "It was a bunch of Mogwai that ate his animals after midnight."

Darwin, who had been listening to the conversation, groaned and turned to them, as he said, "You're all wrong. It wasn't any of those."

Gumball, who had been sitting next to Darwin and listened to his story, and apparently didn't buy a single bit of it, said in embarrassment, "Oh, no."

"Oh, and what would you know about it, Darwin?" asked Timmy.

"Don't do this again, Darwin."

"Gumball!" the teacher Mrs. Krabapple said, and Darwin, Gumball, Bart, Timmy and Tobias turned, as Mrs. Krabapple shushed them and warned, "Don't make me come over there."

"It's a giant machine taller than a skyscraper, and it eats metal with this long tentacle mouth and has this bright light shining from its huge dome," Darwin whispered to the three boys, "And wherever it came from, it's probably not from this planet."

"Oh, shut up, Darwin," Tobias said.

Bart continued discussing the creature and Gumball placed his face on his hands in embarrassment, while Darwin sighed and went back to trying to find out what the creature was. The last book he opened up was about giant alien war machines. He stopped on a page in the book when he saw a picture that looked just like his sketch.

_Bingo_, he thought.

Meanwhile, Jarrod was busy loading some meat onto the truck, saying to an old man named Abraham Simpson, "Thanks for the junk, Abe. Sorry I can't pay you more, but it's got this large bite out of it."

"It's alright, Jarrod," Abraham said, "Something almost got at my car last night, too, but thankfully it walked away sensing something more to its liking." The old man then drove off in his mentioned car.

"Huh. Wonder what could've done that," Jarrod said, looking at Abraham's junk, which had a LARGE bite out of it, just as he said.

"I told you there was something out there," Mr. Stick said.

"Oh yeah, I remember now," Jarrod said, with a smirk, "Giant alien war machines."

"Thanks for believing me, kiddo," Mr. Stick said, "I really did call the government. They're sending someone to take care of the whole thing even as we speak."

"Gee, stick figure I've never met until yesterday when you burst into the diner," Jarrod said, "You really are crazy. I mean, who the hell would the government send?"

At the park, someone got out of a car. He was a lavender blood cell with dark purple "hair" and wearing a white shirt with a black tie, a dark blue coat and pants and black shoes.

"Agent Phlemming," the man said, flashing his badge to Chief Wiggum, "Unexplained Phenomena."

"Chief Wiggum, I—" Chief Wiggum began.

"What happened?" Phlemming said, cutting him off.

"Not sure," Wiggum said. "But last night, there was some sort of attack in the power station. This attack caused a large amount of damage, including torn-up soil, snapped powerlines, one tower fallen, another tower missing, and finally, an exploded plug. It may be the work of something we've never encountered before, but we can't figure out what exactly, so we decided that it was probably caused by a big beast."

After jotting the notes down, Phlemming scoffed, "Big beast. You think it might be a lion, a tiger, or a bear?"

(pause)

"What department did you say you worked for again?" asked Wiggum.

"I'm not allowed to reveal the particulars of the agency I work for," Phlemming said, "and all that that implies."

"You mean, national security?"

"Let me put it to you this way," Phlemming said after a short pause, "Once in a while, things like this power station incident happen that no one can explain. People want to know that the government has a response. I am that response, despite the fact that I ironically almost allowed a heat-making virus to destroy the city of Frank, of which I was once mayor." Wiggum looked in confusion. Phlemming sighed and continued, "Was there anything else found on the scene?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact," Wiggum said, as he pulled out the paintball gun, "we found this." Phlemming examined the gun. This was Darwin's flashlight-equipped paintball gun, with the label "D-Watt" painted on it. "United States Government, huh?" Wiggum asked. "Guess that means something big is happening here, huh?"

"No, Wiggum," Phlemming said. "Big things happen in big places." He turned and left, saying, "And the sooner I fill out my report, the sooner I get back there."

Wiggum looked around and asked, "Back where?"

As Phlemming headed back to his car and got in, he said to himself, "Big beast, yeah right. The only big thing here is the lack of tourists it has." But then, he turned and yelled, "**OH MY GOD!**" when he noticed that the passenger car seat, which Phlemming thought he placed the gun onto, had been torn out.

He quickly ran off, before the machine's limb came in from behind the trees and reached for Phlemming's car.

A couple moments later, Phlemming came back, dragging Wiggum with him, saying, "Come on, I need a witness! It's just around the corner!"

"Alright, slow down," Wiggum said.

"It's like something big tore out the seat," Phlemming said, "Something stronger than Chuck Norris, or Hercules, or—"

Phlemming broke off when he noticed that the rest of his car was now gone, and all that was left was the paintball gun.

"So, what are we looking at here, Mr. Phlemming?" asked Wiggum.

"Something big, Chief," Phlemming said, picking Darwin's paintball gun up, "Something really… really big." Suddenly, the gun fired a paintball into the sky, making Phlemming and Wiggum jump in surprise.

Wiggum broke the silence that followed and said, "So... a sumo wrestler?" Phlemming just looked at the officer in annoyance.

* * *

KT: And now Phlemming has gone into the story, starting his search for whatever destroyed the power station… and his car. And we meet that whatever in the next chapter, where Darwin actually meets the machine up close… again. Stay tuned!


	5. Meeting the Machine

KT: Well, in no time at all, here's another chapter of my Iron Giant parody, where Darwin finally gets to know the machine… sort of.

* * *

CHAPTER 5  
MEETING THE GOLIATH

Meanwhile, Darwin was heading into the forest with a whole mailbox in one hand and a camera in the other. The book he had been looking at earlier today (which was a book of possible aliens from outer space by a heavily-criticized nutcase) had identified the machine that he rescued last night as an cyberorganic alien known only as a Goliath. Now that he knew what it was, he was going to lure it out so he could get a picture of it to show his friends and family.

As he wandered further into the woods, he called out, "Hello! Come out! Hey, Goliath, I got some food here for you! A mailbox! A nice, thick, juicy, delicious mailbox! Come and get it!"

Once he was near a tree stump, she set the mailbox down by it and quickly hid behind a log, ready to take the picture of the Goliath when it came.

Time passed as Darwin patiently waited for the Goliath to show up. As he waited, Darwin cleaned the lens of the camera before testing out the camera by taking a picture of himself. The camera flashed and Darwin cringed and rubbed his eyes.

Later, Darwin had fallen fast asleep until some made a strange noise that consequently woke him up. His head shot up, then he quickly reached for his camera and aimed it at the clearing, but nearly dropped it in shock. The mailbox was gone! Well, actually, the mail still remained.

But Darwin looked concerned, before he slowly backed away, but yelped, as he nearly slipped on something. Turning to see what it was, he gasped in shock when he saw it was the mailbox, untouched and not eaten. Realizing that whatever had moved the meat was still here, his gaze slowly moved away from it. There, high and mighty and standing a few feet away from the mailbox, was the Goliath himself.

Darwin's mind went blank for a moment, before one word ran through his head: _RUUUUUUN!_

Darwin turned and quickly ran away. As he ran through the forest, he quickly glanced back and almost screamed when she saw the Goliath following her. Darwin continued running, until he ran right into a tree branch and fell over. He groaned and rubbed his face, until he turned and saw the Goliath slowly approaching him.

"N-Nice Goliath," Darwin said nervously, "Good boy."

The Goliath stopped a few feet away from him and quickly sat down on his haunches, making a loud thumping noise.

Darwin stared warily, waiting for him to move.

When he didn't, he finally started something different on the Goliath's dome: it was still blue from last night and had a face on it. This face was a pitch black mouth and two black eyes with light blue pupils. Figuring the Goliath may mean no harm, Darwin sighed and said, "So, I guess you're not gonna hurt me, huh?" The Goliath reached for something behind him and Darwin yelped and braced himself, but he didn't feel any harm come to him. Instead, he pulled out and dropped something in front of him. Darwin looked down to see what it was. "A piece of the plug from the power station," Darwin said, before he looked at the Goliath and said, "You knew I helped you, didn't you?"

The Goliath tilted his head and Darwin said, "So, where are you from?" When the Goliath didn't do anything to answer her question, Darwin said, "You came from the sky, right? From up there?" When he didn't make any gesture indicating so, Darwin said, "Don't you remember anything?"

Darwin then noticed a crack on the Goliath's dome, "Wait… maybe it has something to do with that crack in your head." The Goliath placed one of his sharp claws on the dome and started to scratch it until Darwin said, "I wouldn't do that it I were you." The Goliath heard Darwin's advice and placed the claws back on the ground.

"Well, do you talk? You know, words? 'Blah-blah-blah,' like that? Can you do that? Blah-blah-blah?"

"Blah-blah-blah," the Goliath answered (with his dome mouth now syncing up with the syllables, seeming like the mouth was making those sounds), which sounded like scraping metal.

"Well, you get the idea anyway," Darwin said, "Let's see, now." He picked up a medium-sized rock and said, "See this? This is called a rock? Rock."

The Goliath repeated, "Rock."

"Good!" Darwin said.

The Goliath picked up a giant rock with his sharp claws and asked, "Rock?" This time, however, the voice sounded more like actual talking.

"Yes!" Darwin said.

The Goliath then turned his eyes towards a pine tree. He then picked up the tree with his other claw and said, "Rock!"

"No, no," Darwin said, "that's a tree." He gestured to the rock the Goliath was holding and said, "Rock," before pointing at the tree he was also holding, "Tree. Get it?"

"Rock," the Goliath said, referring to HIS rock, before gesturing to the tree, as he said, "Tree."

"Yes, that's right!" Darwin exclaimed, before he said, "My own giant alien robot! I am now officially the luckiest kid in all America!" He began pacing, as he said, "This is unbelievable! This is the greatest discovery since — oh, I don't know— video games or something! I gotta tell somebody! I should call—" But then Darwin stopped himself and said, "No, no, can't do that. They'll panic." He then said to the Goliath, "People always freak out and shoot when they see something like you." The Goliath gave him a puzzled look, before Darwin said, "Freak out. You know, like…" He made a silly face and silly sounds, as he waved his arms around willy-nilly.

The Goliath mimicked him, but Darwin said, "No, no! Don't do that!" The Goliath did as he was told and Darwin said, "That's the kind of stuff that makes them shoot at you."

Back in town, Chief Wiggum, Lionel Hutz, Waylon Smithers, Roger Doofenshmirtz, and Mayor Shelbourne were gathered in an office with Phlemming.

"Two nights ago," Phlemming said, "at approximately 1900 hours, SatCom radar detected an unidentified object entering Earth's atmosphere, losing contact with it off the coast of Rockwell. Some assumed it was a large meteor, or a downed satellite. But my office in Washington received a call from someone here in Toonfield who reported an actual encounter with the object. This is no meteor, gentlemen. This is something much more serious. So—"

Back in the forest, Darwin continued pacing and said, "So, getting the local news crew or somebody like Dan Rather, Mike Wallace, Larry King or Peter Jennings is out of the question, since all they want to talk about if the 1992 presidential election. And we can't call Ripley's Believe It or Not, either, because… well, they wouldn't believe it!" The Goliath was beginning to nod off, but woke up, as Darwin said, "And, uh…" But then Darwin noticed how late it was getting and said, "Ooh, it's getting dark." He turned to the Goliath and said, "And if I don't get home soon, Mom's gonna wonder where I am. And if she comes looking for me and sees you, then we got the screaming problem again. So, uh, for now, would you, you know, just…just stay here, okay? I promise I'll come back tomorrow."

The Goliath got up and rose higher than the trees of the forest. Darwin, though impressed, said, "Well, good-bye." He began to walk away, but stopped when he heard the Goliath following him. He stopped and turned to him, saying, "No, no. Me go. You stay. No following." When he didn't move, he said, "Good." He began to walk off again until he heard the Goliath following him once more.

"Oh, for the love of—" he muttered, before he turned to him and said, not even bothering to hide his frustration, "Look, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: I'll come back tomorrow. Now, stay!" He walked off and, needless to say, the Goliath continued following him, much to his annoyance, as he yelled, "**NO, NO, NO! BAD GOLIATH!**"

* * *

KT: And that's Chapter 5 of the story. The next chapter, you can probably tell what it's gonna be about, so I'll just tell you to stay tuned until Chapter 6 is up. And NO, the robot's name is NOT Goliath. In fact, like with Penny in Nausicca of the Spirits' "Gargoyle Beast" story, Darwin will actually give the Goliath a name, which will be stylized to read like it was a robot's name, in Chapter 8.


	6. Train Wreck

(we open to a 1950s-style opening, where 1950s series music plays and a heart draws itself upon a pink curtain)

The  
**STARSCREAM  
**Show

Starring  
**STARSCREAM  
**as Starscream  
and  
**MEGATRON  
**as Megatron

**TODAY'S SHOW INCLUDES  
**A New Episode "Slip 'N' Slide Day"  
Sing-a-Long with Starscream  
Storytime with Starscream  
Conventional Garbage with Starscream  
and  
How to Make Starscream Cookies with Soundwave

(the opening ends, and it fades to black)

(fade in from black where Megatron is watching TV at his house, but then the phone rings; Megatron answers the phone)

"**SLIP 'N' SLIDE DAY"  
**Written by STEPHANIE MEYER

MEGATRON: Hello?

(on the other line is Starscream at HIS house)

STARSCREAM: Hello, Lord Megatron. Is that Slip 'N' Slide Day idea still going on tomorrow?

MEGATRON: We have to push it to next week because my doctor just scheduled a root canal on the same day.

STARSCREAM: Oh, come on, Your Mercilessness! I've been extremely excited for this day all week!

MEGATRON: Sorry, Starscream. My doctor says I got cavities all over the sides of my teeth. Slip 'N' Slide Day's being pushed to Tuesday, and we're sticking to it. I'll see on that day.

STARSCREAM: Oh, alright. Bye.

(Starscream puts the phone in the cradle, but it falls off; he puts it back, but it falls off again; Starscream just pauses and looks sadly at the phone)

(cut to a commercial break card)

We'll be right back with  
some sing-a-long fun with  
Starscream, and then he tells us the story  
of the Three Little Puppies.

(fade to black)

(cut to technical difficulties card, which shows Chester A. Bum trying to fix a TV to no avail)

TV STATION VOICE: We apologize for this interruption. Unfortunately, a technical problem prevents us continuing our scheduled program for the moment. In the meantime, we bring you a brief, alternative program.

* * *

CHAPTER 6  
TRAIN WRECK

Moments later, the Goliath was still following Darwin through the forest.

"I see you back there," Darwin said, without turning around. The Goliath hid in a bush, trying to look inconspicuous, but Darwin wasn't fazed, as he turned and said, as the Goliath emerged, "Look, you can't go roaming around and you can't come home with me. My mom will freak out." When the Goliath mimicked the crazy face Darwin had made earlier, Darwin said, "Yeah, that's right. So, you have to stay in the forest and I'll bring you some food tomorrow. But I've gotta go home now. So, good-bye."

He crossed the railroad tracks, before he glanced back and saw the Goliath near the railroad tracks as his limb came out and opened up, examining the railroad track before proceeding to grab it.

"Hey, wait a minute," Darwin said, coming back, as the Goliath's limb pulled up the railroad track, ripping it up. "What do you think you're doing?" he said. He gestured at the railroad track, as he added, "Look at this mess."

Suddenly, the railroad cross signal went off and Darwin looked down the tracks and muttered, "Oh no…" He ran back to the Goliath and said, "Put it back! Put it back now!" He immediately began trying to push the railroad tracks back in place, as he said, "Don't just stand there! Help me! I need your help!"

The Goliath pulled his limb back into the chest and put the tracks back on the ground and Darwin said, "Good, good!" He looked down the tracks again and heard the train approaching, before he said, "Put them together! Like this." He gestured to one piece, as he said, "This one here," and gestured to another, "That one there." The Goliath moved over and began working on lining up the first piece, as Darwin said, "Okay, over, over. Good, good. Now, the other one!" The Goliath then lined the other track up, as Darwin said, "Okay, okay, that's good enough! Now, let's go!"

He began to sprint away, but turned and said, "What the-?" The train was approaching and the Goliath was still trying to fix the other track. Darwin rushed back, screaming, "That's fine! Now, leave it alone! **THE TRAIN IS COMING! THE TRAIN IS COMING!**" But the Goliath was still trying to line the tracks up, as Darwin screamed, "**C'MON, LET'S GO!**"

Once the tracks were lined up, the Goliath looked up, just in time to see the train coming and Darwin fell backwards and tumbled down a hill, before he landed in a bush at the bottom of the hill. However, the Goliath did not move, and all that was heard when Darwin was getting out of the bush was a loud crashing noise, and when he got out of the bush, the train had derailed and was tumbling down the hill, looking like crinkled-up garbage. Darwin looked on, but then the Goliath landed right in front of Darwin, making the goldfish jump in shock. Pieces of the Goliath that came loose followed seconds later, including the claws, some glass, spike and some parts of the arms.

"Oh, no. No, no, no!" Darwin started to sob, until the Goliath placed his arm onto the ground and started to get up, his dome light fading back in with the face still visible on it. Darwin exclaimed in joy, "You're alive!"

The Goliath got up, and a large satellite came out of his back and started beeping off. Suddenly, the detached parts of the Goliath started rising up and coming to the Goliath.

Suddenly, Darwin heard the conductor call out, "Hello? Anybody out there?"

"Oh, we're in trouble now!" Darwin muttered, before he said to the Goliath, "Alright, changed my mind. You can come home with me!" He ran off, telling him, "Let's go!"

Meanwhile, at Shelbourne's office, the phone rang and Lola Bunny answered, saying, "Hello, mayor's office." A surprised look crossed her face, as she said, "What? A train accident? What do you mean you hit some sort of creature?" This caught Phlemming's attention, along with everyone gathered in the office. "What kind of creature could be big enough to—"

She was cut off as Phlemming took the phone from her and listened to what was being said on the other line, before he said to Shelbourne, "I need your car."

About a moment later, Phlemming drove off in the car, and as Shelbourne watched the car drive off, he said, "I just got that car."

Meanwhile, once Darwin and the Goliath had arrived at the former's home, the Goliath went into a nearby shed. Darwin watched as the pieces of the Goliath that came loose moved towards their origin and attached themselves back onto the Goliath. Darwin smiled until he felt something moving behind his feet. He looked behind him and saw the glass trying to get into the shed. Darwin lifted his foot up and the glass proceeded inside. The Goliath lowered his claw, and the glass proceeded up onto the claw, which the Goliath lifted up to his head. The glass then attached itself to the hole and uncracked itself, as if it were never damaged. The Goliath and Darwin smiled and looked at each other until Darwin noticed headlights outside of his house.

"Uh-oh, Mom's home," Darwin said. However, it wasn't Nicole that came out of the car, but Darwin's babysitter Elaine. Darwin panicked and said, "Oh, no, it's Elaine! That's even worse because she's prone to freaking out when she sees aliens on the television. Oh, I can't imagine how she'd react when she sees you!" He then turned to the Goliath and said, "Look. Just stay here, okay? I'll be back. Bye!"

He quickly closed the shed doors and the Goliath waved, saying, "Bye." However, the arm he used to wave to Darwin was missing its claw, as the Goliath quickly noticed.

* * *

KT: Oh, dear, I smell trouble. Well, in the next chapter, Darwin tries to get the Goliath's loose claw back to its owner, and Phle—

(the phone rings, and KT answers it)

KT: Hello?

STARSCREAM: (from phone) Yes, this is Starscream, creator and host of "The Starscr—"

MEGATRON: (from phone)** STAAAAARSCREEEEEEAAAAAAAM!**

(pummeling and laser sounds emerge from phone, as KT slowly starts to hang up)

STARSCREAM: (from phone) **No, wait, stop! It's not MY fault the show got cancelled because of a very lackluster first minute and a half!**

MEGATRON: (from phone) **NO, but it's your fault the show got cancelled because you told the network executives that the show was called "The Starscream Show" INSTEAD OF "THE DECEPTICON SHOW", AS I CONCIEVED IT!**

STARSCREAM: (from phone) **MOMMY!**

(KT hangs up, put the phone back in the charger and puts his hand together)

KT: He had the wrong number.


	7. Chaos in the Kitchen

(there's a note in front of the camera)

NOTE: Dear Readers, I've gone out to lunch for the moment. In the meantime, enjoy this next chapter. Signed, KTKomedy2813.

* * *

CHAPTER 7  
CHAOS IN THE KITCHEN

Back at the railroad crossing, Phlemming was busy interrogating conductor Gary and engineer Don.

"What happened here?" Phlemming asked.

"Go on. Tell him what you saw, Gary," Don said.

"You're not gonna believe this," Gary said, "but it was... a giant, metal man!"

Phlemming lit his pipe and said, "Does anyone know where I can get to a telephone nearby?"

Don pointed at Darwin's house.

Inside, Darwin, Gumball, Anais and Elaine were seated at the table for dinner.

"Gumball. Would you say grace, please?" Elaine asked Gumball.

Gumball nodded and was about to do so when he just so happened to look behind Elaine and saw the Goliath's missing claw (which was fittingly the sharp-digit one), which Gumball immediately mistook for a giant mutant spider, in the kitchen.

"Oh my God," Gumball said, catching Elaine, Darwin and Anais' attention. He then quickly covered up, while keeping an eye on the claw and making sure not to draw attention to it, "Oh my God, we, uh, thank you for the… food that Elaine has put in front of us and," the claw was beginning to peer into a pot, until Gumball yelled, "**STOP!**" making the claw turn to him and the others at the table look at him in confusion, before Gumball said, "The-the devil from doing bad things, and, uh…" He then made a gesture at the claw, "**GET OUTTA HERE!**" He then said to the others, "Satan?" He then went back to the claw, "**GO! GO!**" The claw quickly left just as Elaine looked behind her. "So that we may live in peace," Gumball finished. "Amen."

"Amen," Elaine, Darwin and Anais said, looking at Gumball in confusion.

"Well, Gumball, that was…" Elaine started, "I'm not gonna lie. That was the worst prayer I ever heard."

Gumball replied, "Hey, YOU try saying grace when you're seeing a giant four-legged mutant spider in the kitchen."

That statement made Darwin gasp and realize that the Goliath's claw somehow got lost and snuck into the house without being caught by anybody. "Could you excuse me for just a moment?" Darwin said, before he quickly got up.

Elaine said, "Well… okay."

Darwin ran into the kitchen and, hearing a sound from the living room, quickly ran in and found the claw watching TV. Annoyed, he turned the TV off, grabbed the claw's "head" and began leading it to the kitchen door like a baby elephant. He opened the door only to find Anais in the kitchen grabbing something from the freezer. She pulled out a Crystal Pepsi and said, "You know this kind of drink isn't gonna last very long."

"Stop, stop, stop," Darwin whispered, shutting the door, before he led the claw around the other way.

But then he stopped as his sister sat back down at the table with Gumball and Elaine. Quickly pushing the claw back, he pulled a marble out of his shoe and tossed it at a shelf of spices, causing it to fall. Once Elaine, Gumball and Anais went into the kitchen, Elaine to clean up the mess, and Gumball and Anais to see what had happened, Darwin quickly pulled the claw to the front door and opened it only to find Phlemming.

"Hey there, scout," Phlemming said, "Agent Phlemming. I work for the government."

Darwin slammed the door, but then found the claw was gone.

"Darwin?" Anais called. She peeked out the kitchen and walked to the front door and asked, "Who was it?"

Darwin said, "Um… no one of importance?"

Insert pregnant pause here.

"Open the door," Anais said. Darwin sighed and opened the door again, with Phlemming still outside.

"Okay, let's try this again," said Phlemming, "Agent Phlemming. I work for the governme—"

Anais slammed the door, turned behind her and called, "Gumball, it's for you!" figuring that Phlemming was here to arrest Gumball for some over-the-top stunt he pulled off at school.

"Ooh, I hope it's Arnold Schwarzenegger, to whom I've mailed many questions that he never answered," Gumball said, running up to the door and opening it, with— Who else? –Phlemming outside.

"Oh, good. Hopefully YOU won't slam the door on me," Phlemming said, having been annoyed by a door slam to the face twice, "Agent Phlemming. I work for the government."

Gumball slammed the door in horror and said, "That most certainly was not Arnold Schwarzenegger."

"Kids?" Elaine called

The doorbell rang and Darwin sighed and said, "Just open the door, Gumball." Gumball complied and opened the door again.

"Hey there, cubs," Phlemming said, peeved off by the door slams he received tonight, "Agent Phlemming. I work for the government. Your parents home?"

"No. They left us in the babysitter's care until they return home," Gumball said, "And as a matter of fact, we were just about to have dinner."

Elaine walked to the door and asked, "Who's there, honey?"

"Well, hello there," Phlemming said to Elaine, "Do you have a telephone I could use?"

"Yes, there's one in the kitchen."

"Thank you, thank you very much," Phlemming said as Elaine, Gumball and Anais walked back to the table. He put a football helmet he found on his way to the house on Darwin's head and said, "Here. Pretend you're OJ Simpson."

"Damn it, Phlemming," Avery Bullock said, as he talked on the phone with Phlemming, "you called me at home for this?"

Bullock was the Deputy Director of the Central Intelligence Agency, or CIA, for which Phemming worked, and bared a resemblance to actor Patrick Stewart, was balding with white hair and eyebrows, and wore a typical CIA uniform.

"You don't understand, sir," Phlemming said, "It-I-I-It ATE my car!"

"And you saw this happen?"

"No, I didn't actually see it. It… went off into the… woods."

"So you don't have any evidence?"

"But, sir, I've got an eyewitness!"

Bullock was busy watching "The Simpsons", as he said, "An eyewitness with a concussion."

"This thing—" Phlemming started, before grabbing his mouth so he wouldn't scare anybody in the house. He continued, albeit silently, "This thing is a menace. I-I-I-I-It tore up a tower station. It—" The cradle fell off the counter. Phlemming then picked it up and exclaimed, "It almost caused a train wreck!"

"What did?" asked Bullock, "Tell me again, Phlemming, and this time, listen to yourself."

Phlemming sighed and said, "A giant metal monster." Bullock began laughing and Phlemming noticed an oven mitt of a cow making a goofy face hanging from the side of a cupboard, before he said, as he turned the oven mitt so it was facing the cupboard, "Please, sir. I've got a feeling about this one."

"That's lovely, Phlemming," Bullock said, "But let me try to explain how this works. If you told me you'd found, say, um, a giant footprint, I might send an expert to make a plaster cast of it. Hell, you get me a photograph of this thing and I could probably get some troops over there! But you tell me you've got a feeling?"

"Alright then, fine," Phlemming said. "You want evidence? I'll get you evidence. And when I do, I'm gonna want a MEMO distributed!"

"That sounds swell, Phlemming," Bullock said, beginning to hang up the phone…

…while Phlemming began to rant about the memo, "And I'm gonna want that memo carbon-copied and redistributed—"

However, Phlemming was cut off by the dial tone, as Bullock hung up. He put the phone in the cradle, but it fell off. Phlemming put it back, but it fell off again. He began to yell incoherently, as he slammed the phone into the cradle, but then the phone suddenly exploded Michael Bay style, catching Elaine, Darwin, Gumball and Anais' attention.

The four saw black smoke emerging from the kitchen. Out of the kitchen walked Phlemming, covered in soot, who then asked, "Is it normal for telephones you purchase to explode?"

Moments later, Phlemming had just cleaned up and was leaving, as he said to Elaine, "Well, thank you for the use of your employers'… spontaneously-combustion phone, Ms.—?"

"Elaine," Elaine replied. "And these are the kids I'm watching, Gumball, Darwin and Anais Watterson."

"Thank you, Elaine, Darwin, Anais," Phlemming said, "Garlic Shrimp."

"That's Gumball!" Gumball corrected him with a frown.

"Gumball? That's a stupid word to name your kid," Phlemming said, when he was in his car and driving off. "Might as well call him Fluffy or something. I mean who in their right mind would call their kid Gumball when his siblings happen to have the names Anais and Darwi–" But then, he cut himself off as he realized something and looked at the paintball gun on the passenger seat. "D-Watt," he said. "D-Watt! **DARWIN WATTERSON!**" He immediately slammed on the brakes. The car soon stopped in front of a tree, which had Phlemming had not slammed on said brakes the car would've crashed into. Phlemming looked at the tree and said, "Huh," and the car immediately exploded.

Back at the house, there was a knock at the door, Darwin went to answer it, mumbling sarcastically, "Oh, gee. I wonder who that could be." He opened the door to see it was Phlemming, who was once again covered in soot. He was about to speak, but Darwin said, "Agent Phlemming. You work for the government."

"I wasn't going to say that," Phlemming said, dusting himself off, before he took out Darwin's paintball gun. "I have something for you, Darwin."

He handed it to him and Elaine came up and said to Darwin, "Your paintball gun." She then asked Phlemming, "Where did you find that?"

"Down at the power station," Phlemming said.

"Nicole told me Darwin was out there the other night"

"Really?" Phlemming, said, before he asked Darwin, "See anything unusual, Darwin?"

"Nothing… unusual, really," Darwin said. Suddenly, the three heard the sound of the toilet flushing upstairs and Darwin said, "Gotta use the bathroom," before quickly heading away.

Once he headed upstairs, he opened the bathroom door to find the claw unrolling a stream of toilet paper onto the ground.

"Strange," Elaine said to Phlemming, "He's more tightlipped about this power station thing than I thought. Nicole said the other night he couldn't stop talking. Something about a hundred-foot alien war machine."

"A hundred-foot alien war machine?" Phlemming said, "That's ridiculous! What else did he say?"

Suddenly, the two heard Darwin yell, "No, wait, stop!"

"Excuse me," Elaine said, before she walked off.

Back upstairs, Darwin was struggling to get the claw out through the door behind the bathtub that led to the balcony that for some reason was connected to the bathroom (don't ask), grunting.

"Darwin?" Elaine said, as she knocked on the door. Phlemming didn't notice the claw's shadow outside the window he walked past. "What's going on in there?" Phlemming walked upstairs to join Elaine outside of the bathroom. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Darwin grunted out, as he struggled to push the claw out.

"You know, this sort of thing is why it's so important to really chew your food," Phlemming said.

Elaine turned and gave him a disgusted look.

Finally, Darwin succeeded in pushing the claw, out the door and down the balcony's stairs.

"Darwin?" Elaine said. Darwin quickly followed the claw down the stairs, as Elaine said, "Darwin?"

She opened the door and saw that the door had been opened, and Darwin was nowhere to be found in the bathroom.

"Should I ask why the bathroom is empty now when there were sounds moments later?" Phlemming asked.

Elaine answered, "Yeah, the Wattersons, for whatever reason, have a bathroom with a door that happens to have a balcony outside that leads to the backyard and the shed. He probably had trouble opening the door and had to put what Richard called his 'power' into it to get it open so he could have a fresh breath of air." She then called out to Darwin, who was outside, "After you come back inside, Darwin, make sure to flush!"

"Oh," Phlemming seemed to understand as Elaine walked back downstairs. He then asked himself, "Wait. What?" Suddenly, the door slammed itself shut, slicing Phlemming's face off. Fortunately, he's a cell, so no real harm came that was permanent. Phlemming opened the door and picked up his face, placing it back onto his head, and said, "I hate when that happens," as he closed the door.

Outside, Darwin and the claw were all the way down the stairs. When they heard Phlemming close the door, Darwin sighed in relief as the claw proceeded to walk back to its body.

Minutes later, Phlemming was leaving and said, "Thank you again, Elaine," as she and Darwin went out onto the porch. "Good night, Darwin," Phlemming said, "I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again. Real soon."

* * *

KT: (came back from lunch and is now preparing his desk) What? I needed some lunch. Well, anyway, the claw is heading back to the Goliath, and Phlemming promises that he'll see Darwin again, leaving Darwin with the suspicion that Phlemming might know about the Goliath. In the next chapter, Darwin will give the Goliath a name and try to find him a place to stay that's away from Phlemming. How will this turn out? Well, you'll have to stay tuned for Chapter 8 to find out.


	8. Getting Food

KT: Well, when we last left off—

(KT hears a knocking on his garage door; he opens the door to find Starscream outside)

KT: What are you doing here?

STARSCREAM: Well, uh… Megatron is still angry at me for getting the show I did before Chapter 6 cancelled after over a minute. And now he wants to bring me the ultimate pain.

(KT arches an eyebrow)

STARSCREAM: Could I stay at your house until the heat dies down?

(pause)

(KT closes the garage door and heads back into the house)

STARSCREAM: No, wait! I'm being serious! I-If you let me in, I'll give you one—no, TWO of my Starscream cookies!

* * *

CHAPTER 8  
GETTING FOOD

Later on, the Goliath has already reacquainted itself with its claw, as Darwin headed into the shed and said to the Goliath, "Look, if you're gonna stay here, you gotta be more careful. You almost got caught." He sighed, before he set a pile of books down and said, "Anyway, I thought you might like a little bedtime story or something. I've got some really cool ones right here." Darwin was about to pick up a book, but then he realized something and said, "Oh, I almost forgot. I've come up with a name for you. I'm gonna call you… N2."

The Goliath, now named N2, looked on in disappointment that he didn't get a better name, while a haystack randomly blew across the room floor.

"What do you want? It was the best one I could come up with."

Moments later, N2 was sitting on the side Darwin was looking, as he pointed out different books, "There's The Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King, very good read. The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris, not as good as the movie, but still pretty scary and suspenseful. Lord of the Flies by William Golding, VERY scary and suspenseful. The Avengers, now THAT'S a great read. Goosebumps by RL Stine… eh." But then he picked up a book that he really hated and said, "TWILIGHT?" He shuddered, "No, thank you, Stephanie Meyer," and threw the book into the trash can. But then he grinned when he saw a book N2 would really like and said, "Oh, here. This is Superman. Crash-landed on Earth, didn't know what he was doing. But he only used his powers for good instead of evil. You remember that now."

He set the book down and N2 moved it to reveal another book with a picture of a giant havoc-wreaking robot on it.

"Huh?" Darwin said, before he told N2, "Oh, that's Atomo. He's not a hero; he's a villain. But he's not like you. You're a good guy. Like Superman."

"Super… man," N2 echoed, before his "stomach", if you can call it that, growled.

"You're hungry, aren't you?" Darwin said. "Well, I can't let you have any of the metal here, otherwise Mom and Dad will get suspicious. Come with me."

About a moment later Darwin and N2 were trudging through the woods and Darwin was getting exhausted, before N2 picked Darwin up and set him on his shoulder.

"Thanks, buddy," he said, patting his dome, as they continued on, and Darwin suddenly got a wonder of watching the earth from N2's shoulder.

Suddenly, N2 spotted the town.

"Oh yeah, that's Toonfield," Darwin said, "Pretty nice place, huh?"

"Toonfield?" asked N2.

"Yeah. I was born right down there."

But then, he yelped as N2 started to run off towards town, causing him to fall off and land in a tree, as N2 yelled, "Toonfield!"

Darwin got down the tree and raced after N2, yelling, "**No, no, wait!**" before he got in front of N2 and tried to stop him as he said, "**Come on, no, not there! Please stop!**" He then yelled at the top of his lungs, "**STOP!**"

N2 did as he was told and Darwin said, "You can't go there yet. People just aren't ready for you."

N2 looked disappointed, before he and Darwin turned and walked away.

They approached a billboard and Darwin said, "Boy, that was close. Too close." He then said, "We can't go running around like that, okay?" But then, he spotted something and said, "Hey, look!" N2 turned and saw an abandoned, as Darwin said, "I guess that would be okay to eat. It's been there for months."

N2 was about to until Darwin looked down the road and saw a pair of headlights coming down the road and said, "Oh no." He turned to N2 and said, "We gotta hide!" N2 looked at him in confusion and he said, "It's when you— You know, when you— just get behind something, quick!"

Darwin hid behind N2's dome, while N2 hit in front of the billboard in plain sight, posing as the chef on the billboard. Darwin told N2, "Don't move," as they watched Jarrod get out, hook the car to his tow truck, which Darwin noticed was labeled 'Jarrod's Disposal,' and then drive off, as N2 looked dismayed. "Don't worry, pal," Darwin said, "All our troubles are over."

A moment later, they had arrived in the junkyard with the sign from Jarrod's truck. N2 looked absolutely delighted.

"This is it," Darwin said, "All you can eat."

N2 grinned, pulled out his tentacle limb and began eating. All was going well until N2 saw a car and picked it up. Once he picked it up, he then took a chomp onto the car, activating its car alarm.

"Shh! Turn it off!" Darwin whispered in fear. N2 got the car out of the limb which receded back in and put it down, and then sat on it. It still made that obnoxious car alarm. N2 picked it back up and proceeded to punch it out. Darwin, fearing about Jarrod hearing this, exclaimed, "C'mon, just turn it off!" N2, with no option left, then threw it into the sky.

Meanwhile, at another house, a couple named Gaylord and Margaret Robinson were reading books in their bed. Just then, Gaylord turned to his wife and said, "I know what you're thinking, Margaret, and I did not buy a new car because the last one had a deafeningly obnoxious car alarm." Suddenly, the car N2 threw into the car slammed through the bedroom floor, much to the Robinsons' surprise, and Gaylord roared and flailed in anger and annoyance.

Back at the junkyard, Darwin and N2 looked at Jarrod's house, and fortunately none of the lights turned on. "Huh. Jarrod sure is a heavy sleeper," Darwin said, but then a pipe shot off a rocket of fireworks into Jarrod's house and the rocket exploded in the house. "Uh oh," Darwin squeaked as the lights came on after the incident.

Jarrod emerged from his house, wielding a metal baseball bat, as he yelled, "Alright, who's out there?" But then, he stopped when he saw it was Darwin, looking out of breath. "Hey, I know you," he said, "Goldfish Boy."

"Darwin," he said.

"By night, known as Darwin," Jarrod said, "Got it. Well, since you're here, come on inside. Sorry about the metal baseball bat." Darwin shut the door and looked around Jarrod's place in awe, as he said, "You'd be surprised how many people wanna steal scrap. I mean, I use most of it to turn it into art and I can't even bring myself to give it away sometimes. But what am I? A junkman who sells art or an artist who sells junk? You tell me."

"Well, I like it, I think," Darwin said, looking at all the art pieces. "Listen, you're-you're not gonna call my mom, are you? She doesn't know I'm out."

"Don't worry, my friend," Jarrod said, "It's not my style to report someone like you to the authorities." As Jarrod walked away, Darwin glanced out the window and saw N2, who waved to him, but he quickly rolled the window shade down. Jarrod continued, "Listen, I'm gonna have some coffee. What do you want? Coca-Cola? Pepsi? Dr. Pepper? Coca-Cola?"

"Coffee's fine," Darwin said. Noticing Jarrod giving him a look, he said, "I drink it. I'm hip."

"I don't know," Jarrod said, as he pulled out some ground coffee. "This is espresso, you know? It's like Coffee-Zilla."

"I said, 'I'm hip.'"

About a moment later, Darwin was talking a mile a minute, as he said to Jarrod, "So she moved me up the same grade as Gumball and Anais— the latter of whom got into that grade because she was the smartest of us three— because I wasn't fitting in with the other grade. Now I'm even more not fitting in. I was getting all A's. My mom says, 'You need stimulation.' I go, 'No, I'm stimulated enough right now.'"

"Yeah, that's for sure," Jarrod said to himself.

"She goes, 'Uh-uh, you need a challenge,'" Darwin went on, "So now, I'm challenged alright. I'm challenged to hold on to my lunch money because of the jerks who wanna pound me because they think I'm smarter than them! I don't think I'm smarter; I just do the homework. Heck, if everyone did, they could move up a grade and get their butts handed to them, too!" He then sat down and asked, "Is there anymore coffee?"

"Look, kiddo," Jarrod said, "it's really none of my business, but who cares what those creeps think, you know? I mean, they don't decide who you are. You do. You are who you choose to be." Darwin smiled, that is, until he and Jarrod heard a crash from outside. "Did you hear that?" asked Jarrod.

"No, wait, stop," Darwin yelled abruptly, but it was too late as Jarrod headed outside to see what was there, as Once-ler grabbed the metal bat.

At first, he saw nothing, then said, "Hmm. Must've been a tumbling ca—", he turned and yelled, "Holy crap! What is that?"

What Jarrod saw was N2 eating an old train from the late 1800s.

"It's okay!" Darwin shouted, as Jarrod muttered, "My God."

"He's not gonna hurt—" Darwin began…

Until Jarrod scooped him up and ran off with him, yelling, "Run, Goldfish Boy, run for your life!"

N2 turned and, when he saw Jarrod carrying Darwin off, lost interest in the train and jumped over, blocking Jarrod's path.

Jarrod, with THAT path blocked off, quickly ran back the way he and Darwin had gone, as Darwin cried, "It's alright, he isn't gonna hurt—"

N2 slammed his claw into Jarrod's way, causing Jarrod to fall over and Darwin said to Jarrod, "It's alright, he's not gonna hurt me!" N2 picked up Jarrod with his claw and Darwin yelled, "N2, N2, don't hurt him!" N2, who had been growling menacingly at Jarrod, looked at Darwin, who said, "Don't hurt him. His name is Jarrod. We like Jarrod."

"Jarrod," N2 said looking at Jarrod, as Jarrod cringed.

About a moment later, Jarrod's hand was shaking as it held his cup of coffee, as he asked, "So, where exactly did it come from?"

"He," Darwin corrected him, as he and Jarrod watched N2 eating junk. "He doesn't remember. He's like a little kid."

"He he. NO, 'a little kid' is somebody like Mara Wilson or Macaulay Culkin. THAT is a giant alien war machine."

"Hey, that's what I said at first… and what the crazy stick figure keeps saying."

But then, something popped into Jarrod's head, and he said, "Wait a minute, you can talk to him?"

"Uh-huh," Darwin said, "He can't say a lot of words yet, but he understands things pretty good."

"I see," Jarrod said, as the two continued watching N2.

"He needs food and shelter," Darwin said.

Jarrod just looked at Darwin for a moment, before he got up and dumped his coffee and walked back into his house, shutting the door behind him.

**37 minutes later…**

"You've got plenty of room here," Darwin said, trying to convince Jarrod to let N2 stay. "Besides, this place is perfect."

"Go away," Jarrod answered.

"I **CAN** have him push the door down. You know I can!"

Jarrod opened the door and said, "Darwin, I can't hide it here."

"Him, not it," Darwin said.

"Whatever. You don't even know where HE came from, or-or-or what the hell kind of alien war machine HE is!"

"HE is my friend."

"Yeah, what am I?" Jarrod said, "Am I your friend?" He walked over to his bed and said, "Bring some weird, hundred-foot robot from space, make me change my mind. God, I'm tired."

He collapsed onto the bed and Darwin said, "So he can stay?"

"Tonight, tomorrow, I don't know," Jarrod said, "I don't even know about tomorrow."

He sighed in relief and said, "Thank you," before he walked over to N2, who had fallen asleep, and said, "Sleep tight. I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

KT: Well, now N2 has a place to sleep, and you're probably wondering why I named the Goliath N2. Well… Eh, I got nothing. Well, anyway, in the next cha—

STARSCREAM: (outside) I'll give you a lifetime supply of Starscream Cookies!

MEGATRON: (outside) **STAAAARSCREEEEEAM!**

(Megatron proceeds to pummel Starscream)

KT: Just stay tuned.


	9. Junk and Art

KT: (sees Megatron still pummeling Starscream) Good God, is he still going?

* * *

CHAPTER 9  
JUNK AND ART

Later, after sneaking in through the bathroom balcony door and taking a shower, Darwin went into his room. With a yawn, he walked over to his bed, a goldfish bowl. He was about to climb into bed when Nicole opened the door and came in.

"You're up already?" asked Nicole.

"Just making the bed," Darwin said, cleaning the dust off the fishbowl.

"That's nice. Come downstairs. I have a surprise for you."

After Darwin changed into some fresh shoes, he walked downstairs to the dining room, only to gape in surprise when he saw who was sitting at the table reading the newspaper next to a sleeping Richard, who had a bowl of coffee set in front of him.

"Good morning," Phlemming said, lowering the newspaper. "Sleep well?"

"Mom," Darwin said.

Nicole set down a plate of breakfast for Darwin, as she said, "Isn't it wonderful, Darwin? We finally rented the guests' room."

_No, it is not wonderful,_ Darwin thought, before he said with a hint of anger in his voice, "Suddenly, I'm not very hungry."

He then walked out of the dining room. As he did, Richard's head fell into the coffee bowl, and woke up from the coffee's hard burns, screaming for a few seconds, only to fall back to sleep.

Meanwhile, Jarrod was making some hot cocoa and opened the door to find N2.

"Oh. Somehow I completely forgot about you," Jarrod said.

Back at Darwin's house, the other kitchen phone rang and Gumball answered it.

Gumball said, "You have reached the Watterson residence. This is Gumball Watterson speaking. Who's calling?" He heard Jarrod's voice, who had asked for Darwin. "Darwin, it's for you!" Darwin walked over to the phone, but Gumball first told Darwin, "Listen, Anais and I aren't any happier about this government guy being here than you are."

Then as Gumball walked away, Darwin picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"

"I said he could stay the night, Darwin," Jarrod said in annoyance, "But it's morning now!"

"Look," Darwin said, "I'll try and get there as soon as I can. But there's this weird guy here who's watching me!"

"What-What-What's that supposed to mean?" Jarrod yelled, just as Phlemming opened the door to the kitchen. "I've got this big thing out here!"

"I can't talk right now, okay?" Darwin said, "Bye!" before he hung up.

"Who was that?" Phlemming asked him, "A friend of yours?"

"Yeah, he's new."

Back at Jarrod's place, he sputtered in disbelief as he looked at the phone, before he looked outside and saw N2 getting at his art.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Jarrod yelled, "Stop! Stop that!" He began running to the door as he shouted, "Stop it!"

But then he tripped over a chair and landed on the ground with it, looking completely agitated.

Meanwhile, Darwin walked down the stairs where Phlemming was waiting, as he said, "Hey, mind if I ask you a few questions there, Buckaroo?" Later, Darwin was passing Phlemming, who was writing something, as he said, "Now why would you tell your mom about a giant robot, slugger?" Later, Darwin was getting a bottle of Coca-Cola out of the fridge and closed it, only to discover Phlemming standing by the fridge as he asked, "So what'd you see at the power station, huh, tiger?" Later, Phlemming appeared around the corner, asking, "You tell anyone else about this, buddy?" Darwin was having some cereal when he looked up and saw Phlemming, as he asked, "How big is this thing, ranger?"

Later, Darwin closed the cabinet in the bathroom, only to jump when the mirror reflected Phlemming standing behind him, as he asked, "Been in the forest lately, scout?" He was starting to get on Darwin's last nerve, as he said, "Hey, where you going? Champ? Slugger?"

Randomly, Heavy Weapons Guy, who had snuck into the house for some reason, held up a sandwich and said, "Sandvich."

Phlemming continued, "Hey, cowboy. Where you going? Where you going?"

"**I'M GOING OUT!**" Darwin yelled in annoyance.

He was heading out when Nicole said, "Why don't you take Mr. Phlemming with you? Show him the sights?"

"Aw, Mom," Darwin complained, "the sights?"

"I'd love that," Phlemming said, "Give us a chance to get acquainted, swap stories."

Back with Jarrod, he looked annoyed, as he said, "Alright, there are two kinds of scrap here: Junk and art." Jarrod gestured to each of them, "If you gotta eat one of them, eat the junk. What you currently have **IN YOUR MOUTH… IS ART!**"

N2 took the art he had been eating out of his limb and said, "Art?"

Jarrod gave him a look and N2 set to work on fixing it.

"No, forget it," Jarrod said, "Forget it. It's gone. It's—" But then, he turned around and saw the piece of art looking even better than before. "Not half bad," he said.

Meanwhile, at the ice cream shop, Darwin said, "First, you take a chocolate bar. Any bar will do. Do you mind if I—?"

"No, knock yourself out," Phlemming said.

Darwin took his sundae and said, "You crumble up the chocolate into little pieces." He sprinkled the chocolate pieces in and stirred it a little, as he said, "Then you kind of stir it in. See?"

"I see," Phlemming said, taking his sundae. "What do you call this again?"

"Landslide. Some kid in the 1950s invented it."

As Darwin said that, he put the chocolate wrapper in the can, revealing that it was a chocolate laxative.

"Landslide," Phlemming said, "Topnotch." As Darwin sprinkled regular chocolate into his sundae, he said, as he ate his sundae, "You know, Darwin, we live in a strange and wondrous time. The over-the-top movies time. But there's a dark side to progress. Ever hear of Sputnik?"

"Yeah. It was the first satellite to be sent into space."

"FOREIGN satellite, Darwin," Phlemming said, "and all that that implies. Oh, it may not be there now, but even now, the ghosts of its occupants could be anywhere, watchi—" He then heard beeping noises from the side of the shop. He saw that they were coming from a synthesizer being played by an imaginary friend known as Cheese. Phlemming then continued, "…watching us. We can't see them, but they're there. Much like that thing in the woods. We don't know what it is or what it can do. I don't feel safe, Darwin. Do you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about? **WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?**" This drew everyone's attention. "**I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR DAMN SECURITY, DARWIN!** While you're snoozing in your pajamas, back in Washington, we're wide awake and worried. Why?"

Darwin nervously started to back away, as Phlemming advanced on him and continued, "Because everyone wants what we have! Everyone! You think this machine is fun. But who made it? The Russains? The Chinese? Martians? Canadians? Stan Winston? I don't care! All I know is we didn't make it and that's reason enough to assume the worst and blow it to kingdom come! Now you are gonna tell me about this thing, you are gonna lead me to it, and we are going to destroy it before it destroys us!" Suddenly, Phlemming paused and said, "Hold that thought and stay right there."

He quickly headed into the bathroom, but Darwin had already left.

Later, Darwin arrived at the junkyard, but then said, "Hey, I thought you were in trouble."

Jarrod was directing N2 in making art.

"I had to ditch this weird guy who's staying at our house. It took me hours to shake him! I kill myself to get out here and you have him doing arts and crafts!"

"You got a problem with arts and crafts?" Jarrod asked him.

"He's a giant alien, Jarrod!" Darwin said, "It's a little undignified."

"Well, smart guy, what would you have him do?"

A few minutes later, Darwin was in an old 1973 Chevrolet convertible, which started to shake, as Darwin said playing with the car's functions, "Main systems on! Main engines 1, 2 and 3! All systems go! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! **BLAST OFF!**" N2 picked up the car and spun it around at almost supersonic speeds, making it feel for Darwin like an actual rocket launch… except for not actually shooting into space. As Darwin started to feel sick from this, he exclaimed, "**We're landing! WE'RE LAAANDING! WE'RE LAAAANDIIIIING!**"

Another few minutes later, the rocket-playing had stopped, and Darwin sighed, with N2 doing the same.

"Hey, kid, could you cool yourselves a little?" Jarrod asked, "I feel like we're pressing our luck here."

"Hey, we're cool. I mean, this is the city of Coolsville. Population: Us."

"Uh-huh, well, can you move 'Coolsville' to some place less conspicuous?"

"How about the lake?" Darwin suggested.

Jarrod paused for a second, then shook a bit and said, "Sure! What could possibly go wrong?" He then thought to himself, _We're screwed._

Meanwhile, Phlemming was jotting notes down as Cletus Spuckler explained to him what had happened last night, as he gestured to a giant hole in the silo and pointed out tracks, obviously belonging to N2. Phlemming continued jotting down notes until he stopped, realizing he needed to go to the bathroom again, and Cletus gestured to an outhouse.

Out in the forest, Phlemming investigated the area, before he found the emergency shut-off lever and examined it and then looked at the area leading to the power station, before he realized he had to go to the bathroom again.

A moment later, Phlemming came out from behind a bush, zipping up his pants and wafting the smell away from his nose as he walked away, before he bumped into something. It was the camera Darwin had been intending to use yesterday in order to get a picture of N2. He examined it and found the name Watterson on it.

* * *

KT: (the pummeling is still going on) Yeah, this is gonna take a while for Megatron to stop. Just stay tuned for the next chapter.


	10. Fun at the Lake

ANNOUNCER: In light of the events that has happened in scenic KTKomedy2813's front lawn, today's chapter of "The Iron Giant" is brought to you by Starscream Cookies.

(footage from Starscream Cookies commercial plays)

STARSCREAM: Starscream Cookies are more than meets the icing, and the sprinkles on each one are simply to die for!

MEGATRON: You're WRONG, Starscream!

STARSCREAM: I'm ALWAYS wrong!

* * *

CHAPTER 10  
FUN AT THE LAKE

Moments later, Darwin, Jarrod and N2 were at the lake.

"This can't last forever, Darwin," Jarrod said, as he set up a beach chair for himself, "We gotta tell someone about him sooner or later."

"Eh, you worry too much," Darwin said. He then ran up onto a rock, turned and said, "Hey, Jarrod! Watch this!"

"Alright, we're watching, we're watching," Jarrod said, as he sat down in the chair with a thermos and a newspaper.

"This one's for professionals only," Darwin declared, before he ran on the rock and jumped off in a cannonball position, yelling, "Banzai!"

He landed in the water and N2 looked at Darwin curiously, before he surfaced, shivering.

"Come on in! The-the-the water's g-g-great!"

Jarrod said, "Yeah, no thanks."

"Chicken!" Darwin said, waving his fin at him, before he turned to N2. "Come on in! It's really, really refreshing!" N2 just stared at him, before he turned and walked away. "What?" Darwin said in disbelief, "You too? You big baby!"

But then he heard running footsteps and watched as N2 leapt into the air in a cannonball position, yelling, "**BAAANZAAAAAAIIIIII!**"

Jarrod went back to reading the paper, while Darwin watched open-mouthed as N2 flew over him and landed in the water, causing a big wave.

At the sight of the wave, Darwin began swimming away.

Wondering what all the commotion was, Darwin looked up from the newspaper just in time to see the big wave coming toward him. He gaped in shock, before he quickly buried his face behind the newspaper with the headline, 'Disaster Seen as Catastrophe Looms.'

Suddenly, the area near the lake was flooded, as a bunch of fish swam by and a bear named Kenai could be seen trying to swim away. Jarrod was clinging to the armrests on his chair, as he was swept through, before his chair landed on the road as the water receded.

Back near the lake, the lake was half-empty, as N2 looked around for Darwin, until he heard him laughing and saw him holding onto a pine tree, yelling and shouting, "Whoo!"

Back on the road, Jarrod was still sitting in his chair when a truck pulling an RV drove up and stopped.

"Hey!" the passenger, a paranoid smoker named Dale Gribble, yelled at Jarrod, as the driver, Dale's friend Bill Dauterive, looked on.

"Yeah?" Jarrod said, without looking behind him.

"You're right in the middle of the road!"

"YEAH?" Jarrod snapped, glaring at Dale and Bill as if to say, 'What are you gonna do about it?'

Dale and Bill looked Jarrod for a moment, before the two shrugged.

Bill responded, "Alright."

"Okay," added Dale.

"Alright."

"Okay."

The two then got out of the truck and headed into the RV to play ping pong.

"I think that's enough fun for one day," Jarrod said.

Meanwhile, back at Darwin's house, Phlemming had set up the bathroom as a dark room with various pictures developed. It was when Phlemming was developing another picture that something appeared on it.

Just then, Nicole knocked on the door and called out, "Are you alright in there, Mr. Phlemming? I'm back with the toilet paper you needed!"

"Thanks!" Phlemming said, "But I think I'm feeling better now!" He smirked, as he added, "Much better."

The latest picture that had been developed was Darwin taking a picture of himself… with N2 standing right behind him.

* * *

ANNOUNCER: You have just read Chapter 10, and remember, it was brought to you by Starscream Cookies.

(another Starscream Cookies commercial plays)

STARSCREAM: With just a dash of—

MEGATRON: **STAAAAARSCREEEEEAAAAAAM!**

(Megatron zooms towards Starscream and proceeds to pummel him)

(the commercial ends)

ANNOUNCER: Wow. (pauses) That was dark.


	11. Souls Don't Die

(KT has been invited to the Decepticons' base to talk with Megatron about the latter's plans to erase Starscream from existence)

MEGATRON: Ah, KTKomedy2813. I'm glad you could make it.

KT: Actually, I only came here because I was threatened by Devastator.

(pause)

MEGATRON: No, you weren't. Anyway, we have gathered here today to plan a final scheme to destroy Starscream forever. And with fanfiction writer KTKomedy2813's help here, that scheme will officially come true.

DECEPTICON SOLDIER: Why is the fanfic writer here?

(gets shot by Megaton)

MEGATRON: The reason KTKomedy2813 is here is because he wouldn't let Starscream into his garage… leaving him vulnerable to my wrath.

KT: Yeah, but THAT was because I was trying to introduce the chapters for my "Iron Giant" story.

MEGATRON: (confused) Iron… Giant?

KT: (facepalms) The Iron Giant is a 1999 animated feature directed by Bra—

MEGATRON: Soundwave! Bring me this Iron Giant!

SOUNDWAVE: No. I am tired of doing all the work and having no personality. I want a story arc. Something that gives me depth. I want a romance. Yes. A romantic comedy. Perhaps a relationship with a toaster. The toaster can be stuck up, and high class. I will be quirky, and giving in to all sorts of antics. At first she doesn't like me. But then, she admires my silly charm. We get to know each other better.

(Megatron looks at Soundwave, while KT starts to get bored)

SOUNDWAVE: But then she discovers, I was keeping a secret the whole time. I try to explain I held this secret because I love her. But she is too emotional and filled with hate. So he decides to marry this snob, a real uptight guy with no funny lines. She is about to be wed at the alter. But then, I come stumbling in after some sort of comedic chase. I plead myself to her, and at first, it looks like she's not buying it. But then, her eyes tear up. She turns around. Gives me a hug. The snobby groom is angry. But then, my comedic sidekick comes in and punches him.

42 minutes later…

SOUNDWAVE: …and the movie will be converted in post-production to 3D in 17 seconds by Prime Focus, known for conversions of such movies as "Clash of the Titans", "My Soul to Take", and the 3D re-release of "Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace", as they are known for converting movies to 3D in a short schedule. It will be released in summer, preferably over a holiday weekend. It will break records. Win awards. It will be the sleeper hit of the year.

(pause)

MEGATRON: No!

STARSCREAM: Damn it.

(Transformers-style transition)

* * *

CHAPTER 11  
SOULS DON'T DIE

Later, N2 was walking through the woods with Darwin on his shoulder, as N2 stopped and sighed.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Darwin said, before he turned and said, "Hey, look!" In a nearby clearing, a fawn named Bambi was grazing and Darwin whispered, "It's a deer."

"Deer?"N2 said.

Darwin shushed him and whispered, "Let's get closer."

The pair snuck towards the clearing. Bambi stopped grazing when he realized he was being watched, before he looked up and saw Darwin and N2. The fawn stared curiously at the robot, before he came up to N2's claw and sniffed it curiously, before Bambi turned, hearing a sound, then turned and left.

"Hmm," Darwin said, "Well, I guess he decided to—"

Suddenly, he was cut off by the sound of a gunshot. N2 looked around.

Nearby, three hunters, a buff penguin named Drake, a man with black hair in a ponytail, a red shirt and black boots named Gaston and a red haired creepy man in armor named Ruber, were examining their kill when they heard a sound and turned and saw N2.

"It's the monster," Ruber gasped, before he, Drake and Gaston dropped their guns and fled.

"Oh no," Darwin said sadly when he saw the dead fawn. N2 nudged the buck, but it didn't move. He looked at Darwin for an explanation and she said, "It's dead."

"Dead?" N2 said.

He attempted to make the fawn stand up, but Darwin said, "Don't do that!"

He drew his claw away and asked Darwin, "Why?"

"It's dead. Understand? They shot it with that gun."

N2 looked at the gun, before his mind seemed to turn blank, his dome starting to turn red and his eyes shrinking, and this didn't escape Darwin's notice.

"Hey. What's wrong?" he asked and N2 snapped out of it.

"Gun," he said.

Darwin nodded sadly, "Yes. Guns kill."

"Guns… kill."

Later that night, N2 was settled down, playing with the trunk of a car. Seeing what he was doing, Darwin walked onto the car and petted N2's claw.

"I know you feel bad about the deer," Darwin said, "But it's not your fault. Things die. It's part of life. It's bad to kill. But it's not bad to die."

"You die?" N2 asked him.

"Well, yes, someday."

"I die?"

"Well… I don't know. But you have feelings. And you think about things. And that means you have a soul. And souls don't die."

"Souls?"

"Mom says that it's something inside of all good things," Darwin said, "and that it goes on forever and ever."

He petted N2's claw again, before he left.

N2 turned around after Darwin left and said to himself, "Souls don't die."

* * *

(Megatron, Soundwave and KT are sitting around in the base quietly)

MEGATRON: Well, somebody better bring me this Iron Giant right now, or I'm gonna pummel somebody.

KT: Y'mean on DVD?

(Megatron turns to KT)

MEGATRON: The Iron Giant hides in DVDs?

KT: No, I'm trying to mention that The Iron Giant is an animated movie from 1999, and now it's on DVD, which is very difficult to find in a lot of stores like Wal- Mart or Blockbuster. But I hear it's available on Netflix.

SOUNDWAVE: You want I should get us a Netflix account so we could learn more about this "Iron Giant" and watch it in action?

(pause)

MEGATRON: No!

SOUNDWAVE: Damn it.

(a cardboard with an envelope attached to it hits KT in the back of the head)

KT: Ow.

(KT looks behind him, sees the clipboard, picks it up and takes the envelope out)

KT: Who attaches mail to a clipboard?

MEGATRON: Let me see that!

(Megatron takes the envelope from KT and opens it to find a letter)

MEGATRON: Huh. Apparently I'm being sued.

(Writer's Note: This was written the same day as the previous chapter, but because I wanted to tell it in two weeks, I posted it the day after THAT chapter was posted up)


	12. Found Out

(Stay Tuned card shows up)

MARK ELLIOT: Join us after the chapter for a special first-look at the trial of Starscream vs. Megatron with Springfield anchorman Kent Brockman.

* * *

CHAPTER 12  
FOUND OUT

Darwin arrived back at home and rode toward the shed. He opened the door and walked his bike in and parked it by a support.

"You're late for dinner, Darwin."

Darwin gasped. It was Phlemming! Immediately, he ran to the door, but Phlemming beat him there and shut the door.

Phlemming latched the door shut and said, "Your parents and siblings are out grocery shopping, and Elaine's working late tonight, so it's just us two. And we're gonna have a little chat. Sit down!" He shoved Darwin into a chair and turned on a bright light, revealing he was sitting at a table. "How's that?" He asked him, as he cringed. "A little too bright? Good." Darwin glared at Phlemming, as the latter said, "Forgive me, Darwin. I wanted you to learn something."

"Oh, really?" Darwin scoffed, "What can I learn from you?"

Phlemming appeared beside him, as he said, "You can learn this, Darwin. That I can do anything I want whenever I want if I feel it's in the people's best interest. The giant, where is it?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You don't, huh?" Phlemming said, "Well, does this ring a bell?" He placed a pet birthday card onto the desk, where it slid to Darwin. Darwin opened it and heard a familiar jingle.

CARD JINGLE: _**Kanine Krunchies can't be beat  
**__**They make each meal a special treat  
**__**Happy dogs are those eat  
**__**Nutritious Kanine Kru-**_

Phlemming grabbed the card, crumbled it up and threw it out the window. "Okay, that didn't help. But how about this?" He then placed the picture of Darwin with N2 standing behind him in front of him. Darwin's eyes widened, realizing he was found out, as Phlemming said, "You've been careless, Darwin."

"It doesn't prove anything," Darwin snapped.

"It's enough to get the army here with one phone call."

"Oh yeah? Then enlighten me: what's stopping you?"

"Where's the giant? You can't protect him, Darwin. Anymore than you can… protect your mother and father."

"Mom and Dad?"

"It's difficult for two parents to raise a stepchild when they already have two of their own to look after," Phlemming said, "We can make it more difficult. In fact, we can make it so difficult that it would be irresponsible to leave you in their care, and all that that implies."

"You wouldn't," Darwin said with a scared look.

"You'll be taken away from them, Darwin," Phlemming said.

"You can't do that!" Darwin said.

"Oh, we can," Phlemming said, smugly, "and we will."

Darwin realized he had no other choice.

"Alright," he said, hanging his head in defeat, "he's at Jarrod's Disposal, off Pembroke Avenue."

"The junkyard, of course! Food for the metal eater." Phlemming walked away from the table, as he said, "I wouldn't worry about this, Darwin. It isn't really happening. This is only a bad dream."

Darwin turned around, only to shriek in surprise as Phlemming covered him mouth with a chloroform cloth, knocking him out.

Moments later, Darwin woke up in Gumball's bed when he heard Phlemming talking on the phone outside of his room.

"Yes, sir," Phlemming was saying, "This thing is real, sir. I not only have incontrovertible evidence, I know where it's hidden. I don't know who made it, but it's big and we're running out of time." Darwin snuck to the door, as he listened to Phlemming. "There's no doubt we should act. The question is can you afford not to? Excellent, sir. You won't regret it. Thank you, sir."

Thinking it was safe, Darwin snuck out, only to bump into Phlemming.

"The CIA and the army arrive in the morning, Darwin. Don't get cute."

Darwin glared defiantly at him as he went back into his room and then shut the door.

"I gotta warn Jarrod," Darwin said to himself, before he quickly went over to the window and tried to open it, only to find it was nailed shut.

Phlemming opened the door and Darwin glowered at him, as he said, "I'll be watching you," as he backed into his room and sat down on his bed.

Darwin frowned, as he walked over to the bed and sat down in it, without taking his eyes off of Phlemming. He put a helmet on his head and continued to glare at him. Time passed as the stare down between Darwin and Phlemming continued. Later, Phlemming was starting to get tired and Darwin had already fallen asleep and turned over onto his side. Phlemming smirked, as he glanced at his watch.

A few hours later, however, Phlemming had fallen asleep, before he woke up and continued watching Darwin closely.

But then, Darwin passed by, saying, "Morning, Phlemming."

Phlemming gaped in shock, before he turned to the bed and found that it was now Gumball who was sleeping on the bed.

Nicole came in and said, "For some reason, the Central Intelligence Agency is in our front yard, and they brought the army over, Mr. Phlemming. Care to explain?"

"Please, call me…" he started, then said, "Yeah, just call me Mr. Phlemming."

Meanwhile, Jarrod stood outside of his house and stretched and walked out, before he saw a group of CIA cars and army trucks.

Jarrod seemed to know what it was, as he took a sip of his coffee, "Oh, okay."

The army trucks, one with Darwin and Nicole inside, were driving to the Jarrod's place, with a jeep containing Phlemming, Bullock, and Sgt. Foley (play or look up Modern Warfare 2 to know who this is) in the lead. Once they were all parked in place, Phlemming got out.

Just then, Elaine came up as well in her own car, got out and said, "I came over as soon as I saw the trucks.

"Alright, where is it?" Phlemming asked Jarrod.

"What?" Jarrod said.

"You know what." Phlemming then grabbed a handful of sand and said Battlefield Earth-style, "The machine! The robot! The giant!" He then roared cheesily.

One of the CIA operatives, Stan Smith, then said mocking Phlemming, "Have you ever heard of subtlety? Underplaying? A good actor?" He then roared even more cheesily.

"Ah, the giant," Jarrod said in understanding, "You scared me there for a second. I thought I was under attack or something. He's in the back. Come on, I'll show you."

Phlemming followed and Bullock gestured for the operatives and troops to follow.

Outside of an empty warehouse, Jarrod skimmed through his keys, as he said to everyone gathered behind him, "You guys got here just in time. This rich guy, some industrialist, wants him for the lobby of his company. He practically whipped out his checkbook right on the spot. I said, 'Hey, you got him for the rest of your life. But, what, I gotta let go the moment I give birth? I mean, come on. Give me some time to cut the umbilical.'"

Jarrod unlocked the door and gestured inside, as he said, "Here he is." Phlemming went in, only to gape in dismay when he saw a sculpture replica of the Statue of Liberty, which looks like Eddie Murphy for some reason, covered in various items. "Anyway, I haven't sold him yet," Jarrod said, "So if you really want him and if, you know, you throw in a competitive bid."

Just then, another car came in. It was the Wattersons' car, and in the car were Richard, Gumball and Anais. Richard then charged out of the car and into the warehouse with a golf club, screaming angrily. He then fwooshed past everyone and whacked a piano, which then proceeded to collapse.

After a long, awkward pause, Jarrod said, "That's a priceless Steinway."

Richard turned to Jarrod and said, "Not anymore, it's not."

"Sir, listen," Phlemming said, as Bullock glared at him.

"Step outside, Phlemming," Bullock said.

"Yes sir."

About a moment later, Darwin was at a window above the door, listening to Bullock yelling at Phlemming, as Gumball and Anais were giggling in the family car.

"**YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH HARDWARE I BROUGHT OUT HERE?**" Bullock was screaming at Phlemming. Why? "**YOU JUST BLEW BILLIONS OF UNCLE SAM'S DOLLARS OUT OF YOUR BUTT!**" That's why.

Meanwhile, Jarrod and Elaine were talking.

"I gotta admit," Elaine told him, "I'm relieved that this is what Nicole told me Darwin was talking about." The two began to walk to the door, as Elaine continued, "I mean, I was almost beginning to think it was real. I mean, don't-don't get me wrong. I like it. But, uh, do you really need all this stuff on the surface?"

"Well, now that you mention it," Jarrod said, "no, actually."

"Well, it just seems kind of slapped on," Elaine said, before looking at another piece. "You know, it's not as well thought out as this other piece."

"You like that one?"

"Yeah."

Back outside, Bullock was finished yelling at Phlemming, as he got into the jeep and said, "You'll be chief inspector of subway toilets by the time I'm finished with you! Now, pack up. I'll expect you back in Washington to clear out your office."

The jeep drove off, as Phlemming said, "Yes, sir."

Meanwhile, as Jarrod and Elaine walked out, Nicole looked around and said, "I can see why Penny sneaks out here."

"Oh, you know about that?" Jarrod asked her.

Nicole smirked, as she told him, "Now I do."

As Jarrod walked off, Nicole and Elaine took one last look at the "sculpture," before they got back into their respective cars and drove back home and to the diner, also respectively, while Phlemming was sitting in the back of one of the army trucks.

The vehicles drove off and Darwin said with a smirk, "Bye, Phlemming, and all that that implies."

"Okay, buddy, you can move now," Jarrod said to N2, who then moved, rose out of a pile of junk and brushed off the stuff he was covered in, once the vehicles were out of sight.

* * *

(at the courtyard)

KENT BROCKMAN: -ockman, just outside the County Courtroom where an argument about a show's end has spilled over into the biggest trial in fanfiction history. Behind these doors, a federal judge will ladle out steaming bowls of rich, creamy justice in a case the media have dubbed "Beat-Up Sidekick." This reporter suggested "Starscreamgate", but was howled down at the press club. Now, it's illegal for the studio I work to televise court proceedings in any state, so (whispers) we'll have to be quiet. (walks towards courtroom doors only to have them slammed in his face)


	13. Incident

(in the courtroom)

BLUE-HAIRED LAWYER: Ladies and gentlemen of the court, I am going to make it my duty to prove to you that Megatron did in fact NOT brutally beat up Starscream.

CHRIS GRIFFIN: But isn't it pretty obvious that he DID brutally beat up Starscream?

MEGATRON: **SILENCE, MEATBAG!**

(the two then start bickering, which leads to everyone in the courtroom, even Judge Judy, to argue about whether or not Megatron pummeled Starscream)

XENOMORPH: Ugh, I'm so surprisingly bored by this, I just felt like something better was gonna happen. Might've been because I thought this was gonna be like that fanfic chapter I read on one of the defendant's witnesses' files last night. How'd it go again?

(flashback transition)

* * *

CHAPTER 13  
INCIDENT

Moments later, Darwin peeked out from behind a mailbox, holding a toy gun, as he said, "Thruster to base. I'm going in." Darwin snuck through, saying, "Only one thing could create so much destruction. The hideous metal-eating alien war machine, Atomo!" N2 didn't respond, as he twiddled his claws. "Uh, hello, Atomo?"

"No Atomo," N2 answered, before he took a metal sign, fashioned it into a letter with the S, attached a giant cloth fashioned to look like a cape and put it on his chest. "I Superman."

Darwin smirked and said, "Fair enough… Superman," before she turned a switch on the toy gun and it lit up, as he aimed the gun and said, "Take this!"

Seeing the gun, N2's mind suddenly went blank and his dome suddenly went red with the pupils shrinking. This was basically his defensive mode.

The light on Darwin's gun went out.

"Stupid gun," he muttered, before he hid behind a giant mirror and began trying to get it to work again.

But, as he did, he failed to notice a laser N2 fired out of his claw bounce off the mirror Darwin was hiding behind.

Meanwhile, Jarrod was relaxing when suddenly he was disturbed by the laser that flew past him.

Back with the Robinsons, Gaylord had just fixed the hole in the bedroom, and as he walked down said, "There. Good as new!" Suddenly, however, the laser struck the entire house, causing it to explode and disintegrate. Gaylord and Margaret looked on in shock, and Gaylord exclaimed, "Oh, come on!"

Back at the junkyard, Jarrod saw the smoke coming from N2's claw. N2 snapped out of it and shook the smoke out of his claw. Once Darwin had fixed his hammer, he got out to face N2.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Darwin asked, noticing the look on N2's face. N2 shrugged and Darwin said, "Now, as I was saying, take this!"

He lit up the gun again and N2 went back into defensive mode. Darwin turned off the gun and stared in terror, as he saw N2 about to fire.

Just as he did, however, Jarrod leapt and grabbed Darwin, just before N2 fired another laser out of his other claw.

Jarrod set a confused Darwin down, before he asked Darwin, "You okay? You alright?"

Darwin, however, asked in confusion, "What happened? What did—"

Jarrod covered his mouth and shushed him, saying, "I'll tell you later, but right now, just stay down and follow me."

_What's going on?_ Darwin thought, as he looked concerned, but nodded and Jarrod uncovered his mouth.

N2 snapped out of it and looked puzzled when he saw Darwin nowhere in sight.

Jarrod quickly led Darwin over to the back of a billboard and hid there, as Jarrod shushed him again, until N2 picked up the billboard and found them. Almost instantly, Jarrod took a protective stance in front of Darwin.

"**GET BACK!**" Jarrod yelled angrily at N2, much to the poor Goliath's confusion. "**I SAID GET BACK! I MEAN IT!**"

Jarrod continued to shield Darwin from N2, as they backed away and N2 said sadly, "No, stop. Why?"

"It was only an accident," Darwin said to Jarrod, "He's our friend."

"He's a piece of hardware, Darwin," Jarrod said, keeping Darwin behind him. "Why do you think the army and CIA were here? He's nothing but a giant alien war machine! A-A mindless savage gun that-that won't even hesitate to kill!"

He then continued backing away, still shielding Darwin.

"I-I-I not gun," N2 said.

"Oh, really?" Jarrod said sarcastically, "Then how do you explained THAT?"

N2 looked at the giant hole he made in the junk hill as Jarrod continued, "You almost did THAT to Darwin!"

N2 sadly backed away, saying, "No…" before he turned and ran off.

Darwin pulled his fin out of Jarrod's grip and yelled, "Come back!"

"Penny. Hey, stop!" Jarrod yelled, as Darwin chased after N2.

"N2, come back!"

It was then that Jarrod noticed Darwin's toy gun on the ground. All in an instant, realization dawned on him, as he said, "Wait a minute. He was being defensive. He only reacted to the toy gun."

Darwin ran down the road, trying to find N2, until Jarrod drove up on a motorcycle and blocked his path.

"You're not gonna get there fast enough on foot."

Darwin smiled and got on.

Meanwhile, N2 sadly trudged through the snow which spontaneously started to fall, the realization that he had almost killed Darwin gnawing away at him. He glanced back sadly, before he continued trudging off, revealing the S sign lying on the ground.

* * *

(end flashback)

XENOMORPH: Yeah! That was it. Alright, I think they've had enough time to fight about their opinions brutally. Let me just use the psychic alien powers that I just figured out my kind has to NOT figure out that I am just now about to be crushed underneath the defendant's hammer.

(Megatron crushes the Xenomorph with his hammer)


	14. Discovered

(the next day, the courtroom had been off limits for the trial, so everyone had to hold the trial at a football field)

JUDGE JUDY: Welcome, everybody, to the restart of our trial, which was supposed to start yesterday, but for a certain reason, everyone went nuts and destroyed the courtroom, so now we have to hold this trial in the middle of a football field. And we have to make this quick, the Packers need this for practice.

(the Blue-Haired Lawyer gets up and walks around)

BLUE-HAIRED LAWYER: Your Honor, for my first witness, I call to the stand… KTKomedy2813.

(moments later, KT is at the witness stand)

BLUE-HARED LAWYER: Now, Mr. 2813, tell me: What happened on the day of the incident?

KT: Well, it all started on a snowy day, just as the army was leaving…

* * *

CHAPTER 14  
DISCOVERED

Meanwhile, in town, Timmy and his friend, Sari Sumdac (imagine, a girl from an animated series based on a toy franchise about alien robots in a fanfic parody of a movie about an alien robot), were up on the roof, watching the army leave.

"See, Sari?" Timmy said, watching through the binoculars. "What did I tell you? Nothing but a big hoax."

Suddenly, Sari gasped and said, "Timmy, gimme those binoculars!"

Timmy came over and said, "What?"

Sari took the binoculars from him and said, "Hey, there it is! I see it!" What Sari saw was N2 walking away. "It's big. It's walking away!"

"Let me see," Timmy said, taking the binoculars from her.

"Over there," Sari said, pointing in the direction she had seen N2. "See it? See it?"

"It's the monster! Holy cow!"

Suddenly, the balcony they were on broke and collapsed, and Timmy and Sari screamed as they fell, until the binoculars snagged on a pole, as Timmy and Sari dangled above the ground with Timmy holding onto the binoculars and Sari hanging onto his feet.

"Help!" Sari shrieked, "Somebody!"

Her screams caught N2's attention.

"Somebody help me," Sari screamed, "I don't wanna fall!"

A group of townspeople gathered and Elaine looked out, wondering what all the commotion was. Meanwhile, the Wattersons' car was blocked by the townspeople, and Nicole, Richard, Gumball and Anais all got out to see what this was all about.

"Help! I'm slipping!" Timmy screamed, "I can't hold on much longer!"

Suddenly, the townspeople heard running footsteps and turned to see N2 leap over them. Just as the pole snapped and Timmy and Sari began to fall, they landed on N2's not-sharp claw. N2 lowered the claw to the ground and Timmy and Sari ran over to their parents, as Timmy's mom and dad hugged Timmy and Sari's father hugged her. The townspeople stared at N2, unsure of what to make of him.

Meanwhile, Darwin and Jarrod drove past the army trucks and CIA vehicles toward town, passing Phlemming driving in another car. Phlemming watched them go, before he glanced out his window and saw N2 below. He turned back, but then froze and glanced back out the window again to see that N2 was in fact there. He gaped in shock, before he rammed the back of a truck and the soldiers glared at him, before a truck rammed the back of Phlemming's car.

Phlemming got out stammering and babbling incoherently, before he yelled, "**Stop! Look! Look behind you!**" All the soldiers and CIA agents glanced out, as Phlemming yelled, "**Look behind you! The giant, it's attacking! It's attacking the town! I was right!**"

Bullock turned and, when he saw the giant alien war machine, said, "Sweet mother of God," as Phlemming yelled, "**Look, damn you!**"

Darwin and Jarrod arrived in town, as Darwin ran up to N2 and stopped a few feet away from him, then N2 picked him up and Darwin stood in the claw.

"I am not a gun," N2 said.

Darwin smiled. At that moment, Nicole, Richard and Elaine ran up and stood beside Jarrod.

"Hey, Mom," Darwin said, as he waved to his mother.

Nicole gaped in shock, as Elaine turned to Jarrod, who just smiled sheepishly. Next to them, Richard looked on and said, "A giant alien war machine is in the middle of town and is holding Darwin in its hand. I'm in a milkshake dream."

Suddenly, a rocket was fired and hit N2's back.

It was the army and CIA!

"Let's get out of here!" Darwin yelled, "Run!"

N2 shielded Darwin from the gunfire, turned and ran away, while being shot at, including by Bullock. As the army went after the war machine, Jarrod drove up on his motorcycle and blocked their way.

"Hey, stop!" He shouted. "There's a kid in his hand! Stop shooting him!" Phlemming walked over, as Jarrod said, "Phlemming, he only reacts defensively. As long as you don't shoot, he's harmless! You gotta tell the general!"

"This is all your fault, beatnik!" Phlemming started, "If you—"

"Would you just shut up and listen? You've gotta make them stop! The giant's got the kid with him."

"I'll take care of it," Phlemming said and Jarrod rode off. However Phlemming said to Bullock and Foley, "He says the monster's killed a kid. Sir, we must stop it at all costs."

"Go to code red!" Foley said into his walkie-talkie, "Repeat, code red!"

In Washington DC, two officers walked into President Bush's office.

"President Bush, we have a situation, sir," one of the officers, Russ Cargill, said.

About a moment later, three fighter jets took off.

Back in Toonfield, Nicole and Elaine started up their cars (with Richard riding shotgun in Nicole's car) and drove off, as the planes flew over Elaine and N2, who was way ahead of her.

"Look out for the bus!" Darwin yelled and N2 leapt out of the way, flew through power lines and started to slide down a hill, until he slid off the cliff the hill lead to and started to fall into the water below. Darwin screamed in terror, until a beeping noise went off in N2's back, and his feet started to shoot fire out of their bottoms. N2 stopped falling and stood midair above the water. Darwin noticed this, and N2 started rising up the cliff. Darwin exclaimed, "You can fly? **YOU CAN FLY!**"

Elaine stopped her car and got out, just as N2 fwooshed up into the sky, and exclaimed, "Darwin!"

Far away, Richard watched on in the car and said, "I am SO in a milkshake dream."

As N2 tried to get the hang of this, Darwin told him, "Try bringing your arms straight ahead, like Superman!" N2 did so, and suddenly got control of his newly-discovered flying powers as he flew around the sky like Superman. However, it didn't last long, as the fighter jets came in and started to shoot at N2.

He shielded Darwin and was about to attack the planes, but he shook his head and said, "No, no."

After dodging several missiles, N2 stopped and flew backwards, zooming past the jets.

"Bogey speed not slow enough for us to intercept visual," the pilot said, "I suggest we turn around and…" However, he noticed two of the missiles heading their way, "Uh-oh," and they collided with the jets, blowing them up. Fortunately, the two pilots had activated their parachutes and were floating down to the ground. "This is what happens when you cut costs by purchasing boomerang missiles!" The pilot told the other pilot.

The other pilot responded, "Hey, me applying to this stupid army in the first place is all YOUR fault!"

Suddenly, the parachutes detached themselves from the parachute bags, and the two pilots fell… safely into a huge bush. The two out of the bush and started punching each other.

Meanwhile, back in the sky, N2 flew out from behind a cloud and Darwin said, "Man, that was close!"

However, he'd spoken too soon. A plane gun shot at N2, causing him to fall to the ground.

Nicole saw this and screamed, "No!"

From afar, Phlemming watched through the binoculars and said, "Ha! Gotcha."

As Darwin and N2 fell, N2 held onto him and shielding him from the crash down's possible impact, before crash landing roughly on the ground and getting knocked out cold.

"Good call, Phlemming," Bullock said, lowering the binoculars.

Foley then ordered a soldier, "Secure the area! Let's find out what that thing is and who sent it."

Back with N2, he came around, only to find he wasn't holding Darwin. He sat up, but then found Darwin lying motionless on the ground a short distance away from him. N2 gasped and went over to Darwin and nudged him, but he didn't respond. Believing him to be dead, N2 covered his dome face and sobbed.

At that moment, the army drove up.

"It's still alive!" Corporal Dunn screamed.

"**SHOOT AT IT**!" Phlemming shouted.

As they did, something inside of N2 snapped. They did this. They killed Darwin. Soon, the crack on his dome head disappeared, and the dome's light turned from blue with a face to completely red with no face. With a furious roar, he then turned around, turning one of his claws into a gun and blasted one of the tanks, sending it flying away, as Phlemming and Bullock gaped in shock. He then turned his other claw into a giant electro-gun. Aiming at another tank, he fired a ball of electricity at the tank, and the ball devoured the tank into thin air, after the men manning the tank got out of course.

But the soldiers, realizing that this was the signal to run for the hills, immediately turned and drove away, as someone yelled, "Retreat! Retreat!"

N2 transformed full-on into his defensive mode and chased after them, as Phlemming yelled, "**Let's get outta here!**"

As the army fled with N2 in close pursuit, Nicole, Richard, Elaine and Jarrod drove up to Darwin's lifeless form and parked their vehicles.

"Darwin!" Nicole cried, as she got out of her car and ran over to Darwin, cradling him, as Jarrod got off of his bike.

"He's unconscious," Jarrod told her, "but he's okay. Let's get him in the car."

Meanwhile…

"**DRIVE, DAMN YOU, DRIVE!**" Phlemming screamed at the driver, as N2 chased after them and fired lasers, plasma and electricity all over the place. "**STEP ON IT! FLOOR IT! IT'S GAINING ON US! FASTER, FASTER, FASTER! HURRY!**"

Once they had gotten into Toonfield, tanks, soldiers and CIA agents were firing repeatedly at N2 in vain. N2 reacted by pulling two spider-leglike claws, which then tapped repeatedly upon the disk on the plasma gun, which then fired bolts of electricity that struck most of the army and CIA vehicles.

Gumball and Anais looked on, with Gumball saying, "Whoa, this would be pretty cool if it weren't gonna kill us."

Foley said into the walkie-talkie he took from Kevin Swanson, "**All battleships fire at the robot! NOW! NOW, DAMNIT, NOW!**" The battleships fired, but missed, as N2 then turned and went in the direction the battleships were firing.

"Nothing can stop it!" Bullock exclaimed, "We've hit it with everything we've got!"

"Not everything, Mr. Bullock," Phlemming said, "The bomb. The Nautilus has first strike capability and is anchored just off shore."

"You scare me, Phlemming. You want us to bomb ourselves in order to kill it?"

"General, the robot seems, to follow whatever attacks it. We can lure it away from the town, then destroy it."

Bullock stared at Phlemming, before he signaled Foley to give the command, and Foley said to a soldier, "Radio the Nautilus. Tell them to target the robot and await my command."

In the Nautilus, the speaker said, "This is the Nautilus. What is the machine's current position?"

Preparations to fire at N2 began, as the coordinates were relayed, "67.71972 degrees west by 44.50177 degrees north."

"Locked and loaded," the soldier said to the captain.

Meanwhile, Jarrod was driving the Watterson's car while Elaine sat in the passenger seat and Nicole and Richard sat in the backseat, Nicole holding Darwin.

"Oh, my baby, I'm so sorry," Nicole said…

…just as Darwin came around and said, "Stop the car."

"Hey, Darwin, you're alright," Richard said.

"Go back!" Darwin yelled at Jarrod, as he sat, or stood, up. "We gotta help N2!"

"Are you crazy, Darwin?" Jarrod said, "You're lucky to even be alive! We're taking you to a hospital."

Suddenly, Jarrod had to stop the car, as the soldiers blocked the way.

"Hold on!" a soldier named Truck said, "Everyone out of the car! We're evacuating the area."

"What are you talking about?" Jarrod said, as he, Elaine, Nicole and Richard were pulled out of the car. "We gotta get this kid to a hospital."

"What girl?" Truck asked.

Jarrod glanced into the car, only to find Darwin was gone, before he yelled, "Darwin!" when they saw him running towards N2.

"Darwin, no!" Nicole cried.

Meanwhile, N2's chest aimed a giant gun in the middle, which was about to fire on the battleships, but once Darwin was close enough to N2, he yelled, "Hey, NO, **STOOOOOP!**"

N2 turned to Darwin, but then a giant ball of plasma flew out of the chest gun and fortunately missed the battleships. But then the ball exploded behind the battleships. Everyone blocked their views from the explosion, and Phlemming turned to Foley, who said into the walkie-talkie, "This is Sgt. Foley. Ready the attack and prepare to retreat to the fallback position."

"No! No, stop!" Nicole cried, breaking free from the soldiers and running over to Foley, "My son is out there!"

Once Darwin was sure he had gotten his friend's attention, he turned to N2, who aimed his plasma gun at Darwin.

"No, wait," Darwin said, "It's me, Darwin. Remember? It's bad to kill. And you don't have to be a killer. You are what you choose to be. You choose." Thinking he was unable to get through to him, he shut his eyes, waiting for him to deal the fatal blow, as he said, "Choose."

N2 slowly snapped out of his rage, with his dome turning black to blue and his face fading back in, and said, "Darwin."

He transformed back to normal and stared sadly at Darwin, who said, "It's okay, it's okay. I know you didn't mean to hurt me earlier and I forgive you. But now we gotta show them you're good."

Back in the Nautilus, the sailor traced the position, as the captain said, "Nautilus to Foley. Missile armed and ready."

"What are you saying," Bullock said to Jarrod, "he's friendly?"

"Yes," Jarrod said to Bullock and Foley, "attacking him is triggering his defense instinct."

"Don't listen, Sergeant!" Phlemming said, "Destroy the monster while we still have the chance!"

As N2 approached, the soldiers and agents aimed.

"Sergeant, you shoot and the whole thing starts all over again!"

"Stop it now, Sergeant! Our future's at stake!"

"Orders, sir?" a soldier named Grinch asked, as N2 came closer.

"Which is why you have got to stop!" Jarrod said.

"It's getting closer! Orders, sir?"

"Don't shoot, don't shoot!" Darwin cried from on N2's claws.

"Darwin!" Nicole cried.

"Hold your fire!" Bullock ordered the soldiers and agents, before he said to Phlemming, "The boy's alive?"

"It's a trick!" Phelmming exclaimed, "Launch the missile!"

"Are you mad, Phlemming?"

Foley then ordered the troops, "All units, stand down! This is Foley to Nautilus. Come in, Nautilus."

"This is Nautilus standing by," the captain said over the walkie-talkie, as Phlemming glared at N2 and then snatched the walkie-talkie out of Foley's hands.

"**LAUNCH THE MISSILE NOW!**" Phelmming screamed.

The button was pressed and the missile was fired out of the submarine and into the air.

Bullock grabbed Phlemming by his collar and said, "That missile is targeted **to the giant's current position!** Where's the giant, Phlemming?"

Phlemming turned and then realized his big mistake, as he said, "Oh. W-W-We can duck and cover. There's a fallout shelter right there."

"There's no way to survive this, you idiot!" Bullock told him.

Phlemming realized what he had done, as he said, "You mean we're going to—"

"To die, Phlemming, for our country." Bullock then let go of Phlemming's collar as the blood cell backed up.

"Screw our country! I wanna live!"

He threw one of the CIA vehicles' drivers, Dick Reynolds, out of the car and attempted to drive off into safety, but was stopped by N2, who placed his claw in front of the car, wrecking its front. Phlemming then tried running for his life, but then Todd suddenly fell on top of him.

The soldiers and agents aimed their guns at Phlemming, who was now under Todd, as Foley ordered them, "Hold him, men. Make sure he stays trapped under that fat guy like a good soldier."

At that moment, a siren began to go off, as everyone looked scared. N2 lowered Darwin over to Nicole and Richard, who hugged him.

When Darwin heard the siren, he muttered, "Oh no." N2 looked at him, and Darwin said, "It's a missile. When it comes down… everyone will die."

"There it is!" Peter Griffin shouted, seeing the missile high in the sky.

In that instant, N2 knew what had to be done.

"Shouldn't we get to a shelter?" Elaine asked Jarrod as Gumball and Anais grabbed onto their parents in fear.

Jarrod shook his head, as he said, "It wouldn't matter."

Darwin turned to N2, as he heard him say, "I fix."

He walked over to him, noticing him looking up into the distance.

"N2?" Darwin said.

N2 lowered down to Darwin and placed his claw next to him, as he said, "Darwin. You… stay." He gestured to himself, as he said, "I… go." He then told him, lifting his head up, "No following."

He then stepped away from him and Darwin felt tears welling up into his eyes, as he said, "I love you."

With that, he and everyone else watched as N2 flew up into space to intercept the missile. As the missile's traveling fuel went out and started to go down, and as N2 got closer to the missile, Darwin's words echoed through his head.

"You are who you choose to be."

"Superman," N2 said, before his dome went out completely. He then collided with the missile, causing a giant nuclear explosion in outer space.

Back on Earth, everyone saw the explosion in the sky. Darwin, Nicole, Richard, Jarrod, Elaine, Gumball and Anais turned to see there was no missile approaching. The townsfolk, soldiers and CIA agents cheered, but Darwin turned away, allowing Nicole and Richard to hug him, as he started to sob.

Bullock sighed, as he said, "Let's go home." They went into their cars, and two of the soldiers pulled Phlemming from under Todd and placed handcuffs on him before putting him into the back of one of the CIA cars.

As the soldiers and agents turned to leave, Darwin pulled out of his parents' embrace and stared into the sky at the explosion fading away, his eyes glistening with tears.

* * *

KT: And… that's it.

(everyone looks at him, confused)

BLUE-HAIRED LAWYER: Is that exactly what happened at the incident?

KT: No, actually, I just had to get this chapter introduced somehow.

(Judge Judy then clears her throat after coming out of her stupor)

JUDGE JUDY: Well. I think it's pretty obvious that—

(Dora enters the football field)

DORA: Stop!

(everyone turns to Dora)

STARSCREAM: Why are you here?

(Dora walks up between Megatron's stand and Starscream's stand)

DORA: Don't you see what we've turned ourselves into? We've turned ourselves into psychotic accusers, blaming people for something they didn't mean to do. Don't you think we should forgive and forget? Doesn't EVERYONE think we should forgive and forget?

(pause)

(Megatron stands up, seemingly about to agree, but then aims his gun at Dora and destroys her, then grabs Starscream and proceeds to brutally pummel him… again; order is destroyed in the trial again)

KT: Well, THIS didn't work out the way anybody hoped. (to the reader) Join us for the next chapter, where we'll have an epilogue for both the story and the trial.


	15. The Last Giant Piece

(at jail)

KT: Yes, you didn't think Megatron would be in THIS amount of trouble, did you? Well, now, he's having to spend 13 months in the Giant Robot Jail for publicly beating Starscream to a pulp. But I don't you care about that now. You just wanna see the ending. Well, here it is!

* * *

CHAPTER 15  
THE LAST GIANT PIECE

A few months later in the park, Darwin was playing with his brother and friends near a statue. The statue was of N2 , who had Darwin standing on his claw. Underneath it was a plaque inscribed, 'Dedicated In Memory of N2, the Iron Giant, by the town of Toonfield.'

Elaine, Jarrod, Nicole, Richard and Anais were looking at it, as Elaine said, "Best work yet, honey. No doubt about it."

Jarrod and Elaine had both gotten together a few months after the discovery of N2 and his sacrifice.

Jarrod smirked at her, as he said, "You think this is my best? Really?"

"Well, you know, next to that bug… thing. You know, the one with the shovels."

Nicole then turned to where Gumball, Tobias, Bart, Timmy, Sari and Darwin, who had a bandage on his fin from the hard landing, were playing and said, "Gumball, Darwin, come on, honey! Time to go!"

"See ya, guys," Darwin called to his friends, as he and Gumball went over to the others.

"See ya later, Penny," Sari said, waving good-bye.

"Hey, Darwin," Jarrod said, holding a package, "Mr. Bullock sent this to you."

"What is it?" Darwin asked.

"He said it was the only part recovered."Darwin unwrapped the package and discovered it was a bolt from N2's body. "He thought you should have it."

"I miss him," Darwin said sadly, as he then looked at the statue of N2, before Nicole and Richard led him off.

That night, Darwin was sleeping peacefully in his fishbowl, when he heard a rustle in the room. Darwin got of the fishbowl and turned to the box, which was suddenly empty. He checked under Gumball's bed, but then heard a beeping noise in the bathroom. He started to grin when he figured out what it was.

Darwin went into the bathroom and found the bolt trying to get out of the bathroom through the other door. Darwin came over to the bathtub and opened the door for the bolt, which went outside and fell down the stairs. It then got up and rolled into the fields. Darwin smiled and said to the bolt, "See you later."

While the bolt went through the field back to its source, in the Langjoküll Glacier in Iceland, all of the pieces of N2 were arriving to a certain part of the glacier, like a leg hopping, a rolling claw, and an arm moving like a worm. This part they were going to was back to their origin, N2. There's the satellite in N2's back was beeping for all the pieces to come back, and glass came back to where it should be on the dome. Once all the glass was back where it should be, N2 flashed on, with the same blue dome and face he had before the explosion. He smiled, knowing he had done a good thing.

**The End**

* * *

KT: And that was "KTKomedy2813's The Iron Giant." I hope you enjoyed it, and—

(Megatron flies out of the wall of the jail and into the sky to hunt down Starscream once again)

KT: Here's the credits.

Written and Directed by  
**KTKomedy2813**

A Spoof of the Screenplay by  
**TIM McCANLIES  
**From a Screen Story by  
**BRAD BIRD**

Based on "The Iron Man" Book by  
**TED HUGHES**

CAST  
Darwin Watterson: KWESI BOAKYE  
N2: MARK RYAN  
Jarrod: ERIC BALFOUR  
Nicole Watterson: TERESA GALLAGHER  
Elaine: SCOTTIE THOMPSON  
Phlemming: WILLIAM SHATNER  
Avery Bullock: PATRICK STEWART  
Mr. Stick: ROBIN WILLIAMS  
Gumball Watterson: LOGAN GROVE  
Anais Watterson: KYLA RAE KOWALEWSKI  
Richard Watterson: DAN RUSSELL

Lou/Chief Wiggum/Pilot 1: HANK AZARIA  
Squirrel: DEE BRADLEY BAKER  
Card Jingle: LUCILLE BLISS  
Don: DON BLUTH  
Russ Cargill: ALBERT BROOKS  
Mayor Shelbourne: BRUCE CAMPBELL  
Bart Simpson: NANCY CARTWRIGHT  
Borland/Abe Simpson/Pilot 2:DAN CASTENELLETA  
Captain: PETER CULLEN  
Speaker: JIM CUMMINGS  
Foley: KEITH DAVID  
Tobias/Gaylord Robinson: RUPERT DEGAS  
Waxelplax: GREY DELISLE  
Bender: JOHN DIMAGGIO  
Truck: IDRIS ELBA  
Gary: GARY GOLDMAN  
Dale Gribble: JOHNNY HARDWICK  
Beavis/Butthead: MIKE JUDGE  
Soldier: TOM KENNY  
Stan Smith/Peter Griffin: SETH MACFARLANE  
Ruber: GARY OLDMAN  
Grinch: TIMOTHY OLYPHANT  
Dunn: BARRY PEPPER  
Bill Dauterive: STEPHEN ROOT  
Heavy Weapons Guy: GARY SCHWARTZ  
Nautilus Soldier: HARRY SHEARER  
Timmy Turner/Sari Sumdac: TARA STRONG  
Mrs. Krabapple: MARCIA WALLACE  
Lola Bunny: KRISTEN WIIG

INTRO/OUTRO CAST  
KTKomedy2813: Himself  
Megatron/Soundwave: FRANK WELKER  
Starscream: STEVE BLUM  
JUDITH SHEINDLIN: Herself  
Blue-Haired Lawyer: DAN CASTENELLETA  
Dora: FATIMA PTACEK  
MARK ELLIOT: Himself  
Announcer/Kent Brockman: HARRY SHEARER  
Nappa: CURTIS ARNOTT


End file.
